Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
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Top comments
MegasaurusRex89 28
People are disgusting. I've unfortunately seen that several times at my job. Sorry about the panic attack :(
IAmzephyr 22
Poopnado 3: the toilet incident
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Comments (77)
may14th 26
lovely.
aubamas 20
That's a job for FSI fecal scene investigation
incoherentrmblr 22
I'm assuming you got a visit from Bad Grampa...
MegasaurusRex89 28
People are disgusting. I've unfortunately seen that several times at my job. Sorry about the panic attack :(
Fall3nAngel 23
Sounds like a shitty comm-- *slap*
Fall3nAngel 23
Cursed auto-correct. I meant situation TT
teentee401 37
How does situation correct to comment?
Fall3nAngel 23
No idea. Man, you people are harsh.
IAmzephyr 22
Poopnado 3: the toilet incident
tylercarolinex 21
thats brilliant #4
russfml 31
I have to ask, where does poopnado 1 & 2 take place if 3 is the toilet lol
fangirlofthings 21
Nursing home, daycare center in that order.
wallmaria 15
LOL
Jinxsie 27
I hope you didn't soil yourself in the process. That would be shitty. No pun intended. Okay. Maybe a little...
firelegend 17
*facepalm*
Chrissyella 25
No. Just no.
Moklon 18
You should start an inter-workforce movement against the misuse of bathrooms! Call it the Great Bowel Movement
False_Stupidity 42
Sounds like a great bowel movement is what started all this! =)
Miss_Chevious 37
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that's such a shitty situation
hammonds92 21
Damn you beat me to it
LittleBastard 20
Both of you, please... stop.. you're hurting my head..
stingray112 24
Congratulations you are NOT the first person to think of that! Wow!
Thor1012 28
For everyone on fml have an anxiety problem?!
snarkytruth 37
#8. I agree there has been a rash of posts claiming they have anxiety. Have to wonder how many are diagnosed clinically or self diagnosing. Like it's suddenly cool to have or conversely as an excuse. I hope everyone posting about anxiety is getting proper help. Otherwise misuse of the term hurts those that actually have real clinical anxiety. OP- unfortunately those nasty poop disasters can never be unseen. I feel for you. I hope you at least had other options. I've seen one that "rose above" the seat level many inches. I still see it vividly when hearing about gross toilet stories and wonder if it was one person or many gross people adding to the disaster creating said masterpiece. Just have to be thankful we weren't the ones that made the mess. Yet at least... Could make for a funny illustrated cartoon. Maybe help take the anxiety out of it seeing it in that context as well.
Zebediabolical 45
Anxiety is the new Aspergers.
Thor1012 28
Does*
PenguinBitch 44
*Eddy Murphy in Daddy Day Care*
Nickt21 11
Lol Eddie Walked in stopped at the doorway and looked all over the bathroom with that nasty look on his face ?