Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used the last of my money to buy a bag of vending machine chips for dinner. It got stuck. A passerby saw and generously offered to buy another bag of the same chips to dislodge it. Gratefully, I accepted his offer. It stayed stuck. FML
Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML
Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML
Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML
Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML
Today, I went to buy some frozen yogurt. I filled up a cup and the cashier rung it up. The total price was $6.92. I only had $5 in my wallet. So I gave her the $5 bill and went to my car to get more money. Little did I know, there was no money in my car. So I drove off. Leaving the $5 behind. FML
Today, I had to skip lunch to work on a big project, so I stopped by a vending machine. The number I wanted was 126, but I accidentally typed 124, using my last dollar. 124 was the only empty row. FML
Today, as a joke, my friend put my bus money in the vending machine. Not only did the machine not return my money, it wouldn't give me an item in return. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML
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Top comments
friedpwnadge 25
Guess you lost all your chips on that bet.
kirb2154 3
you got cheetoed out of that one
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Comments (66)
friedpwnadge 25
Guess you lost all your chips on that bet.
wldd0g 9
Some gambles in life were never suppose to pay off. Who knows how old they were. What if the bag had given him worms??
CheckItOutItsYou 7
Now that's how you make a quality comment.
SirCharles83 13
If you chase two rabbits, they both get away.
PoopNuggetLeader 4
He could have sued and then got all the Cheetos he wanted.
kirb2154 3
you got cheetoed out of that one
TheRippah 5
I hate when that happens! Sucks:/
SliceOfCake 9
I find comments like these so unnecessary.
Sandman366 6
15-I wish they'd have a vending machines of you. Both the picture and the person behind it - one for food, one for intelligence.
FuKcMee 32
shake it a little get 2 bags free!
lilhellian 27
But, he paid for one of them..
kevsandy303 12
If you shake it hard enough, you can get it all for free. That's what she said
Brandonep 13
4- doesn't those machines have a label not to do that because it kills people?
gc327072 31
"next time, on 1000 Ways To Die…"
ColdplaySucks 18
Start banging the machine.
Uhscanherdarklee 10
^^^ba dum cha...He's here all day folks. Be sure to tip your waiters and waitresses. :-)
lolfood 24
A lot of people actually die by doing that.
Uhscanherdarklee 10
From what? Having sex with vending machines or putting condoms on them...(Sorry, I honestly could not resist.)
woainishamu 21
What a cheesy situation.
xYin 16
Omfg xD nice
gracehi 33
This is why I always carry anti-zombie device. It comes in handy in all kinds of situations, such as this one, not just the unlikely event of a sudden zombie apocalypse.
accioshannon 17
...What?
gracehi 33
You know. The handy-dandy anti-zombie device. You don't have one? Boy, are you behind the times. Btw, *my anti-zombie device, if that accidental omission is the source of your confusion.
gracehi 33
As advertised, you can also use the handy-dandy anti-zombie device to not only destroy zombies, but muggers, rapists, and withholding vending machines. I got mine for six easy payments of $19.95 plus shipping and handling. You should really look into it. I am a very satisfied costumer myself.
ethereal1 6
Do you enjoy working as a costumer?
gracehi 33
**** you guys. I'm the Queen of Comedy. t('.'t)
pmadNess 16
May it be time for the queen to be dethroned?
gracehi 33
OFF WITH YOUR HEAD! *Decapitates 53 with anti-zombie device* See, guys? I told you this thing comes in handy.
laden_swallow09 35
Queen of Masochism, maybe.
SuperSofie 23
You can't beat the house..
RayearthNinja 10
dude, what Deity did you piss off?
perdix 31
So, you tried to steal the bag that belonged to the poor schmuck before you? Serves you right, ya crook. If you succeeded, they would have caught you orange-handed!