Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML
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Top comments
dannyydanny 0
are you ******* retarded ....
mk58 31
You're supposed to declare your love BEFORE trying to kiss her rather than declaring your love BY kissing her. Now she's going to think you're a creep.
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Comments (267)
dannyydanny 0
are you ******* retarded ....
nyrangers1022 6
at least he tried
HubertPL 0
wow you need to stop trying so hard, grow some balls, and just go up to her and talk.
00SPRANGER00 0
at least he got some. kindof
doom2 8
at least he learned his lesson?
ljesm14 1
everybody makes mistakes....
sixfoot2 0
lmao
YacL 15
While that's what a lot of girls might call "cute" (that being said, she had to like it and kiss you back) it's a bad idea...
docscientist 10
And if she liked him, she would've been okay with it.
cummbubble 0
did you get a... bonner?
0opsie 6
#29: doesn't count if she didn't want it.
ydnar 5
now 34 thumbs up HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I can't quit laughing
monzach 5
Here's my FML: Today I read on FML, for the thousandth time, some idiot thinking he can score some by being a dipshit then complaining about the obvious bad consequence on the Internet. FML.
Trupe 3
As nice as I can possibly be, you should know that was dumb as ****.
1123nic 0
pow! right in the kisser
hutch66 13
And I thought it would be a good a idea to o and talk to her like normal people..
imacreeper 3
That's just some fuckery right there, bro.
EvilPotato 15
not the greatest way ever.
EvilPotato 15
not the greatest way ever.
monkeywrench1 10
I don't get it. It always works in the movies! :)
00SPRANGER00 0
#82 I believe it's spelled BONER dumbass
Adorlee 11
Never approach a girl with a kiss, especially if she isn't your girlfriend!
BeastNerd 3
There's an apostrophe in the contraction 'I'm' in your profile summary. **** off!
baseball6917 8
can't say you didn't give it a shot. but you can't say she didn't either. lol
JokinglySerious 0
that was still a little rough though
hc20 0
exactly what I was thinking. She could have reacted a little less dramatically.
4fencer 0
he's not dum. He is just showing his dominance as a male. The girl should be punished if anything.
whosechairisthat 0
u dont like cows but u like chocolate milk......
amuck 0
lmao agreed
No_LoveMM 3
Yeah 199. What was OP doing in the kitchen anyways?
Jojo0114 0
u cute
mooshibear140 4
Yes. Yes he is retarded.
Gema2dicks 0
ARE YOU STUPID?
krista2009 0
hell yea man totally agree with ya lol
sylverdrag_fml 9
Honestly, this situation sounds ridiculous, but I guess it's all down to what the OP really means by "a kiss". If it was just a peck, a single slap should have been plenty to clue him in, not a series of slaps followed by a complaint to the police. On the other end, if he held her and forced her to receive the kiss... It looks to me that most people here assume the worst from the OP. A good way to figure out if this is really all that bad would be to imagine the situation was reversed: If the OP was a female giving an impromptu kiss to a male, then getting beaten up and reported to the police. Would you feel the same way about it?
LupeFiascoLovaa 0
who would do that????
BananEnigma 24
Uh....... No? :/
stormlvr 0
good job. *slaps forehead*
volley4eva1698 0
*facepalm*
skylervondra 0
tell her "i'll show you sexual harassment!!!"
shibainu519 0
you got lucky op. I would've shot you.
lyshieelove 0
who does that
LaughinStock 16
well apparently this guy
robotiick 12
your lucky op tht your not gay and kissed me if u did I would have to nuke u
shortie916 0
53- Nice :)
dorux1897 0
Sexual Harassment, Panda!
Deroni76 5
I suggest you stop watching romantic movies.
Idonebeenhad 17
what made you think that was a good idea??
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Hahahaha exactly, I don't know what reaction he was looking for...
JesusFishTaco 5
Obviously in his mind, he had a fantasy that she was crazed about him, but was too shy to approach him. So he had this idea that if he expressed his love for her, not through words, but through a romantic gesture, she would instantly confess her love and everyone would live happily ever after. Unfortunately for him, this isn't fantasy.
GARCYA23 0
his mother :P
WordSmyth 2
If OP was a waiter, he would give everyone food before they even had a chance to order.
Alekyork 0
It's just a crush. Calm down.
sensoon15 7
yea it's weird that OP kissed her without waiting to hear whether she's likes him back or not
hiyourcute 0
Today, this guy in my math class who I have never spoken to before came up and kissed me. He was shocked when I reported him. I only attract idiots. FML
womanjesus 0
IS IT THE SAME GUY THAT WROTE THIS FML ?!?!
franniedottp 8
This is almost the same thing that happened to last week. I said the same exact thing to the dude...
Belovan 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How'd it work?
locacolloca 0
if u would take the time 2 read u would no dumbfuck
ballwiz24 0
he was joking
Likian5 26
I think you already know the answer to that question...
Lorysa 11
Ouch. That's embarrassing...
Outsider_77 0
-facepalm-
Bizenghastly 0
-two handed face palm-
sublime420 11
I think she's already covered that.
nickdunbar 8
...
monzach 5
Why would you post your phone number on the Internet? That's ******* stupid.
mercuryburst 0
Herpa Derp how do I relationship?
BB_ava 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I see no problem here. It is sexual harassment.
schmelia 10
I don't think he was aiming for that kind of outcome... That's where the problem lies.
BB_ava 0
well, it's YDI so bad... =="
jaidonsafira 0
That's nothing. Try taking two Sweedish twins with a bottle of jacks and a monkey hanging in an upside down "wannabango." Ah, memories. Giggity.