Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
Today, I finally told my crush I liked him. He smiled and said, “That’s sweet, but I thought you knew I was seeing someone.” I laughed awkwardly and said, “Of course, I was just joking!” Then I immediately tripped over my own bag while leaving. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML
Today, after thinking my crush maybe liked me back, I confessed. He didn't. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
girlygirl666 0
I'll bet this wasn't the first time you had wood in your ass.
stolencrackers 1
I understand the phase of "crush" is the time you want everything to go "perfectly." Hopefully, you can look back and laugh at it, too. On my 3rd date with my now husband, oh boy did I make a fool of myself I thought for sure he'd think I was crazy.. but we both laughed at it, and now we're happily married!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
jif_fml 0
i'd laugh too.
AlicaKate 0
o.o I'm not going out with anyone and I'm in love with someone... There's something wrong with that?
luckyducky123 0
How old are you? 12?
kerrygirl 13
ya obviously, how do you love someone unless your with them and spending time with them and its more then just a friendship. if your not with the person i do believe its more lust then love....
repyourcliche 0
Yes, there is something totally fundamentally wrong with that. The fact that you even have to ask indicates that you are a sinner and going to hell. Good luck dodging Satan, you sinful excuse for a person. OP: YDI for being a common ****, especially as you are female, and saying 'arse' when bottom, bum, ass... etc would have sufficed.
myfriend_youfail 3
Pendatic, can you spell "troll"? Seriously. Don't feed it.
repyourcliche 0
lol, #12 was my brother. he has a habit of coming on this and commenting. ignore it if it's rubbish like that, it just feeds his already massive ego.
IIzSuperGirl 0
You dont have to be going out with someone to love them...... Tbh, its stupid to wait like 2 yeArs to say i love you anyway!
kmhm2621 0
I've been in love with someone for two years. a year and a half of which we weren't together. It can happen to people, you just know when you love someone. besides being with them and then loving them, that's basically saying that you have to learn how to love him/her. Would it or would it not make more sense to just love someone and not have to learn how to love them? It's almost like with a baby, you love him/her before you know him/her. See what I'm saying??
Jaxissocute 0
Haha I would of laughed to
Jaxissocute 0
Haha I would of laughed to
kerrygirl 13
so ye weren't even going out and he said he loves you........hmmmmmmmm okay........
infernofalcon 0
FHL for having a splinter dick.
luis_r96 4
Wats an arse haha
girlygirl666 0
I'll bet this wasn't the first time you had wood in your ass.
raw_tigahh 2
^win^
cutiepie343 7
^win
Honda288 2
Win!
powersmoke 0
You meant to say he dropped his pants, positioned his splinter, and you sat on him while the "splinter" slid in your cornhole.
gueeterman 4
******* WIN!
pshnoway 0
#5, I love you. But not in the creepy crush way.
great_lawl 0
why would you scream
nomnom5559922 0
Have YOU ever gotten a splinter up YOUR butt?
Sindy_fml 4
#5.
stolencrackers 1
I understand the phase of "crush" is the time you want everything to go "perfectly." Hopefully, you can look back and laugh at it, too. On my 3rd date with my now husband, oh boy did I make a fool of myself I thought for sure he'd think I was crazy.. but we both laughed at it, and now we're happily married!
aquariusangel420 0
Rude much douche
youthink_fml 0
So what? Not even close to an FML.
sportsnut 0
i would say this is a great story to tell the kids some day, but crushes are for high school and you are far too immature to know or even begin to understand what love is. I give this a year...maybe two and you'll be through
laudie 0
Yea because u kno this random person on fml so well that u kno she's immature...
workstinks 0
http://www.ihatestacy.com/index.php?id=fb50c4ac3f7b83ea66412c1ef3d708b8