Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
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Top comments
HollyDolly660 8
HAHA. Fail. At least you were TRYING to do something sweet... I bet she would rather you didn't now.. You better do something extra romantic to make up for that, that doesn't involve hurting her.....
maskedman 9
that's sounds more like a wrestling move than a romantic move.
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Comments (137)
NYKnicks36 0
first
TehFuzzyOne 0
well, well, that was a dick move, eh?
PI55f4C3 0
I think we can safely say ur a genius.
suzzierose 0
this^
AngryNinja 1
i think you meant ''dumb''. way to go, zorro. how romantic. don't you know shit in the movies is fake?
fmylife1133249 1
lol dick
TehFuzzyOne 0
And no, I meant dick. as in, he's being a dick.
AngryNinja 1
ahh, shadow, win. broke some random chick's nose. and then the girlfriend appears to her (ex)boyfriend kissing some chick with blood flowing out of her nose. XD
pinkpolsih 0
win win.
BbyLenuh 0
bahahahab
truth215 0
goddamn shadow kissed is fine as ****!
tookietookie123 5
"Uhh I can explain... I was giving her uhhh, CPR?"
Repttar 0
show her who's boss lol
Repttar 0
I'm calling fakey on this one
arpeggioss 0
you're probably terrible in bed, cocksucker.
SettoFail 9
That's exactly what I thought it was gonna say dude
fmlsoobad 0
lol angry ninja and shadow thingy
burgerking83 0
smooth move
Justmylife122 0
That was real slik lol
thetink 0
I lov your hair : D
Rosalie_Haostn 0
^ exactly what I was thinking :)
mtc4ever 0
agreed! lol
spez86 0
that's where I thought it was going #20
YeahFMLxX 0
Yeah, show that dirty girl how much you like it rough! Make her scream. Oh wait, you broke her nose. Sucks to be youuu silly moose!
mylifeblows32 0
I love breaking bitchs wrist to keep them in life
YeahFMLxX 0
* Slowly waits for 164's modderation * -.- IF I wouldve posted that Sirin. OO GIRL, you better reply (:
mylifeblows32 0
sirin not coming just took a dump on her. she likes it like that
hungryboy 0
shadow_kissed , your hair is really cool!
yungjct 0
did you punch her in the stomach or tell her she's fat while in the moment?
DonutNoob 0
Join UFC, because apparently even your moves of affection are lethal..
icall_BS 0
Chuck Norris's testicles dont produce sperm, they produce tiny white ninjas whose soul(sole?) purpose is to SEEK
Extacy23 0
OP u dnt try things in the movies..bc u dnt get paid for it so u embrase urself
Pball11 0
Either your an agressive kisser or she has a soft nose.
xXDeadPoolXx 0
ha that's why you sneak up behind her and wrap your arms around her waist like I do XD grabbing her wrist crowded = fail ydi
Kris1987_fml 0
fag
ecko_7672 0
awsomeness, settofail listens to lamb of god. am i right?? ../,
AlcaSMT 0
YTDI for watching those movies, let alone trying to imitate them~
suicide_jockey 0
I have had many moments like this, but never broke my girlfriends nose. she's either gotten hurt because I step on her toes or pull her hair. be more cautious and don't listen to the people here that tell you wayto go zorro and what not because they're jealous that you have something special.
elchiclebubalu 2
what a ****** loser
LOL_UrLifeSucks 0
shadow. win.
gress269 4
I think the point is that it looked like he was beating her, you less intelligent life forms o' mine.
superHydrate 4
how abt act like a normal guy instead of one from the movie?? and making sure what's gonna happen !!! now you gotta pay for her nose job. great job Steven!!!
rowyourboat 0
Major fail D:
PurpleSquirrel 0
you already said that.
thetink 0
shadow_kissed I love your hair :D
fmylife1133249 1
lol @ 35
DogmaT_fml 4
reminds me of superbad
MagicalPegicorn 0
shadow did some one dump a slushy on ur head?
Zills 0
169 your a dick. She clearly has the most awesome hair I've ever seen. op fhl not yours she's the one with the ****** up wrist and broken nose. Op you're retarded.
fmivida1 0
the most awesome hair I've "scene"
AxCxDxDx 0
hahahahahaha great
jonnyboy752 0
Shadow, awesome hair ^__^
HollyDolly660 8
HAHA. Fail. At least you were TRYING to do something sweet... I bet she would rather you didn't now.. You better do something extra romantic to make up for that, that doesn't involve hurting her.....
Rosalie_Haostn 0
lol it'll probably be dancing....ohhh god. he'll step on her feet. maybe you should talk the romantics slow OP.
Rosalie_Haostn 0
*take
MagnoliaFrog 0
oh man. did she forgive you
dp0515 0
I dought it, she was jus standin there and he just comes and headbutts her, breaking her nose. maybe if he had broken his nose too. maybe it was a comedy movie?
ludicolo 0
loser!!
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Romance fail :] Don't try to imitate movies. Unless it's a porno, that's another story...
Caz_the_Spaz 6
soo romantic. in a Chris Brown kind of way...
Bamfy_McBamf 0
WIN!
MagnoliaFrog 0
#10 u look like you're twelve years old what are u talking about imitating pornos. tsk tsk
MermaidSongXOXO 6
#29 I'm 13. I'm a very corrupted, twisted child :]
MagnoliaFrog 0
hahaha
Ajjas013 6
Wait, 14 year olds aren't supposed to know about ****? *Uh yeah operator? Can I get my childhood back?*
Freeze_fml 17
Why you think the net was born?
saranottelling 7
whats ****... is it a type of cookie? I like cookies.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Sure, Sara..... it's a type of cookie. It tastes best covered in chocolate and whipped cream.
Ajjas013 6
xD Whipped Cream! Is it like eclairs? Eclairs are delicious. But they always **** on my face :(
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Yep. You just have to squeeze real good to get the whipped cream ;]
Ajjas013 6
To get it all over your face :) It's like a tasty pimple.
demoon_fml 7
lol
Withired_Away 0
Mermaid song Your picture is demonic, I think at least
MermaidSongXOXO 6
.... -_-
adidaman 3
ur fricken ugly dude
Rosalie_Haostn 0
mermaidsong
demoon_fml 7
hey, don't pick on mermaid.
Rosalie_Haostn 0
stupid iPod screwing up my comments anyway ajjas and mermaidsong = win Sara....I don't even know
Rosalie_Haostn 0
lol I wasn't my iPod is screwing up my comments. -_-
demoon_fml 7
oh, ok then. because I was about to say mermaid is teh shit dude.
Ajjas013 6
I'm the shit too! Amirite?
Freeze_fml 17
Nope.
Freeze_fml 17
Nonsense. According to ED, anyone who uses "amirite" is wrong. I am not jealous, nor will I ever be, of this tiny network of kids that role-play in the comments. You guys stray far from the FML itself and make this your own Facebook page. It's degrading to read.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Then why the hell are you on FML, and why the hell do you attack Ajjas any chance you get? Like it or not, we like to comment and joke around. Deal with it.
Ajjas013 6
*Fap fap fap*
Spoozie 0
ummm, alotnof people know about ****?! I know someone, (actuly two people) who've watched ****..(don't ask why) I don't know why. but yeahh...haha. ohh an smoooth move(; hahaha.
demoon_fml 7
Freeze is cooler than ajjas.
cam007_fml 0
I knew about **** when I was 10. Ahh, I miss Jose. We used to watch it all the time.
Tripout 0
spoozie. either u only know two people OR everyone lied to u -_- hmmm which is more likely (>.<) SOOO HARD TO THINK......-_- I give up Ima just say everyone lies to u T_T
loverboy99 0
Porno is the best for all ages wat are you talking about
lizzyhotlips 0
wow that sucks!!!!
Spoozie 0
ehh, no they wernt..the pe teacher knows and teachers at the school 0_o but igive up on this whole shizz. ha, give the whole **** chizz up people, I don't want fightsss(:
DonutNoob 0
Spoozie WTF wre you saying?
myman47 0
yeah wat? and pornos ******* rock
Spoozie 0
shackersss!:D haha, this is spoozies bestieee(: I'm the one who wrote those comments up there ^ hehe. sorry for peeps being confused. hahahahah.
purplemnm 9
when I was 13 I had no idea about the whppied cream part D;
hockeystud19 1
loser
MegaPerson87 0
huh ok that went wrong
GoldenWarrior69 0
good one f u Ck tard
Starfire22 5
roflmao!