Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I was walking through Target when I was pulled aside by a very attractive girl who began kissing me. She stopped, because I wasn't who she thought I was. Disappointed, I turned around to see her very angry, very large boyfriend behind me. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
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Top comments
NStarB 13
Well, it's not easy to please two women
xSkittle 16
Why was she pissed off? She saw it was an accident.
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Comments (83)
NStarB 13
Well, it's not easy to please two women
Badluckbobby 12
Well shit its hard enough to please one.
lonewolf658 6
It's possible to please one?
golden_warrior 23
26- Some of us can, bro. Sorry I had too
amberlyyyy 15
Nah, a girl is never 100% pleased ;)
lonewolf658 6
#38 I figured
starile 20
#38, watch the new movie "We're The Millers". There's a stripper with the same name as you and her nickname is Boner Garage. I'm thinking you might be the same person.
Cecil_Baldwin 5
Hah! Hahaha! HA. HA HA HA. WOMEN ARE JUST SOOOO HARD TO PLEASE. AMIRITE FELLAS? IT'S ALMOST LIKE THEY'RE HARD-TO-PLEASE MACHINES. NOT EVEN HUMAN.
jondivey 9
#67 Teach me your ways.
sweetbabysweet93 10
You deserve it for assuming she was right there
Damian95 16
That's harsh. As long as it was an honest mistake, he didn't deserve it. Nor should he be sorry. We are only human.
JustBeingAwesome 22
That's true. Don't say you never greeted or turn around and talked to/ assumed it was the wrong person.
JustBeingAwesome 22
Damn... At least you didn't actually kiss her
FML102938 8
F
xSkittle 16
Why was she pissed off? She saw it was an accident.
Jjimen1654 9
I feel like men have been asking this for ages.
Ambient25 25
This should remind you to look before doing...
Spider_Web 11
This reminds me of the FML where the girl in line groped some other lady thinking it was her boyfriend
Lisee92 18
Yeah, they could've been a good couple
becca717 7
16, I was just looking through to see if anyone else mentioned that because that's what I thought of too. XD
Eliseopwns 22
Damn Tyler get your shit together
SamanthaNGoree 10
I think if it were my boyfriend, I'd probably just laugh it off. It's got to be embarrassing for you, I'm sure she knew it wasn't intentional.
ntd309 14
#6, The kiss may have been unintentional, but I think his g/f got pissed because OP thought this woman was his g/f. In other words, the g/f thinks : "you mistook that raggedy older woman for me!?!?"
wonderfulrosie 13
That is really uncalled that she slapped you, I mean you didn't even kiss her. I'm sorry OP, hopefully your girlfriend realized it was an accident.
Queensland 27
That's why I think this FML is a little exaggerated. There was no need to slap him. At least not yet.
ApollosMyth 22
Yea, but some people have then tendency to freak out way too early.
starile 20
#31, you mean to say if some random-ass guy at the mall turns to kiss you out of nowhere, with no apparent consideration for your personal boundaries, you'll just stand there and take it? Remember, slapping is a way quicker reflex than reasoning with someone.
Wizardo 34
As I said before, I find looking around and being aware of your surroundings before doing anything is really, really helpful...
chanelvander 7
If you've explained that you didn't know and she was still pissed, then there's a serious problem. If she didn't know; well, she should still give you the benefit of the doubt before getting mad.
DestinysChampion 17
^^ Agreed. No need to assume without a full story.
alshygirl 14
Your girlfriend seems like the jealous type
starile 20
Wouldn't you be, if your man just tried to kiss some other girl?
vipirius 18
He didn't try to kiss another girl. If you read the FML you would see that his intention was to kiss his girlfriend, he just failed.
iSmellMusic 8
As a jealous type I can confirm that I'd be pissed off at my boyfriend if I saw him do this, even if it was an accident. Jealous type is no fun.