Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML
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Top comments
lelo_lala 0
You deserve it, you drove drunk, and put a girl in a neck brace, I hope you never get laid.
eric237 0
this fml makes you sound like a rapist
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Comments (180)
LockonStratos_fml 3
YDI, never do anything drunk. NEVER! Especially with a woman that you love.
ccftw 0
ouch!! D:
MrBond007_fml 6
I say ydi because you loved a woman, thatcan never end well
MrBond007_fml 6
I feel like I should elaborate, love makes you do stupid things
live2swim 5
1. Bad idea to ever get drunk on a first date 2. Why were you driving if u were tht drunk....
TurnpikeTwister 0
What the Hell OP, you're lucky if she even speaks to you again...
gree_fml 11
He'd be lucky if she's ever able to turn her neck again...
eric237 0
this fml makes you sound like a rapist
sexynerdsquad 2
he probably is ?
lelo_lala 0
You deserve it, you drove drunk, and put a girl in a neck brace, I hope you never get laid.
arstef90 5
how drunk were you? that's a TERRIBLE idea!1
kspy 0
when is twisting someone's head EVER a good idea? YDI idiot.
Tigertnt 0
when its a... FATALITY!!
elegantlywasted1 3
hahaha hopefully it doesn't sound like it was a flawless victory :-p
Jaywin 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OK first of all, you can't LOVE someone if you're not together. You can be enamored and have a crush but it isn't love. Second, dude you sound like such creepy and forceful guy. WTF is wrong with you?
imperfections55 1
Wow, so you dont love your mother? Or how about your best friend? Love is an emotion there is no rule book about when it can be applied.
SammyS2012 21
I loved my boyfriend before we started dating. 3 years later I still feel the same
rose5171 0
oh god hope she was drunk too so it didnt hurt her as much :-p nice going...do you still have a gf after that?!!
LockonStratos_fml 3
#2 Why is everything a guy does to surprise a woman rape these days? * pushed my gf in a hot make out session against the wall to imitate the movie scenes. - THAT'S RAPE CALL THE COPS!!!!!!!!! * Did some domination sex and knocked out my gf - THAT'S RAPE CALL THE COPS!!! The 2nd one I never read here, but jeez lay off with the rape accusations. Especially as something as normal as a surprise kiss on a date.....
mikaela33194 0
Maybe she should brace herself for your kisses.
rebekahah 7
hahaha!!!!
RHOPKINS13 2
It had to be done... Today, I went out with a guy who I really love. We arrived at my house and before I got out of the car, he attempted to kiss me. Still drunk, he grabbed my head and twisted it when he kissed me. I'm now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML Yeah, that's definitely a F Her Life.