Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML
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Top comments
dannyydanny 0
are you ******* retarded ....
mk58 31
You're supposed to declare your love BEFORE trying to kiss her rather than declaring your love BY kissing her. Now she's going to think you're a creep.
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Comments (267)
fricknugget 3
facepalm smh zomg wtf
chelspm 5
That's totally sexual harassment and you deserved all the "fml" stuff that happened after that. You should have waited for her to tell you she liked you back first. Creep.
Jazzalyn 10
I think it's like #56 said - he had some fantasy in mind and decided to express it by kissing her, but it backfired. I think this kind of thing would work in some fantasy/fairytale setting but, unfortunately for OP, reality is neither of those. Next time OP should tell or at least hint that he likes a girl. If he actually knows that said girl feels the same, it might work. (I think the problem here was that, even though he liked her, he didn't know if she liked him). (I don't think OP has a chance with the same girl either. Or any of her friends now too. She's probably warned them all about him - which sucks for OP, because I don't believe he meant any harm.)
SugaryTears 0
yeah, maybe u should wait until you guys are dating before you kiss her... not that you would ever date her after that
xk75 4
what is it with people DECLARING THEIR LOVE to CRUSHES?! it's aggressive, unfair, and really puts the person you supposedly like in an extremely uncomfortable position. Think about how the other person might feel for once instead and take it slow, by simply asking the person to get coffee with you.
thebadmanpuntedb 7
well you know what they say. if it doesn't work the first time. try again.... :P
hottiebrunette 0
uhm by any chance are you the sexual harassment panda?
georggx 3
just don't try and copy the romantic movie move next time..
crzy4life 0
are you in jail?
DReamBig24 0
why would you tell her you love her if she's just your crush.... and go and kiss her? ydi for being inconsiderate of her feelings