Today, while cleaning my vehicle at the car wash, the vacuum cleaner found a new purpose. As I twisted around, the mouth of the hose made its way down to my crotch and latched on. It definitely wasn’t painful, but I’ve now been sucked off by a vacuum. Best yet weirdest blow job ever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my dick sucked. Unfortunately, it was by the vacuum nozzle my cousin stuck down my pants. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend standing in the living room with his dick in the vacuum cleaner hose. Instead of being embarrassed, he simply said, "The vacuum does it better." FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML
Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
You seriously expect people to believe this was an accident?
Anderling 33
I’d suggest not doing that again because that’s how you end up in the hospital with a story about how you just happened to fall onto the vacuum cleaner
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Comments (11)
Anderling 33
I’d suggest not doing that again because that’s how you end up in the hospital with a story about how you just happened to fall onto the vacuum cleaner
JackWood 21
I am never using a car wash vacuum again.
mike3775 39
You seriously expect people to believe this was an accident?
RichardPencil 32
Best quarter you've ever spent! Probably risky to stand there until you jack off, but when you're in the moment.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Imagine explaining that to the owners. "Excuse me, I just came in your vacuum but it's still stuck on my ****. Little help?"
Vesi 30
OK this legit made me laugh.. what a mental image!
RawrXD 4
Doofy, Mom said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner
LimpyBiscuit 2
How do you “accidentally” get sucked off by a car vacuum in public.. oops my pants and underwear came off, I’ll keep cleaning my car.. oops the vacuum fell on my p****. I’ll just enjoy myself.
LimpyBiscuit 2
How do you “accidentally” get sucked off by a car vacuum in public.. oops my pants and underwear came off, I’ll keep cleaning my car.. oops the vacuum fell in my pants. I’ll just enjoy myself.
Ubehage 32
"Accident"
Taurus_ChicKa 37
My husband has a question - why was OP's dick out? I mean, those vacuums are super powerful, but they don't go THROUGH clothes, do they? So how did the dick go INSIDE the vacuum? I don't know, I'm laughing so hard I'm in hysterics.