Anonymous
Burbank, United States
Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Insomniac
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Tired Girlfriend
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
anonomys
Canada
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
no sleep for me
Noise complaint
Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
Fartnonymous
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Doha, Qatar
Gassy
Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Cozy
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
PissedOff
Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Anonymous
United States
Hilarious
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Top comments
Zaxnu 0
Are you sleeping with my husband?
shayshayshazam 14
That really doesn't sound like a good time.
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Comments (81)
shayshayshazam 14
That really doesn't sound like a good time.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
I would recommend ear plugs... Nose plugs if you're feeling adventurous.
Keevarou 17
Indeed, always listen to Pinkiepie! Unless she wants you in her basement to make cupcakes.. But that would mean no more problems with snoring and farting!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
If you sleep with a snoring fart machine, you're gonna have a bad time.
nado13579 12
Is it sad that I have a 13-year-old female friend who does that while sleeping over?
MedKits 9
I just really want to know how to OP knows what a drunken horse's snore sounds like.
tjv3 10
Well if you don't tell him what to do to get you off then YDI for not getting there
shayshayshazam 14
I think 64 meant to put that on the sneeze-gasm FML...
Moussr 0
you're the horse you mut!
Tektite 14
Might have to sleep with a window open?.. Lol
andyyroxx 20
FYL even more if this has nothing to do with sleeping, the window wouldn't even help then!
potaytoh 0
that's a man for ya!
uJelly24 1
Stupid comment.This has nothing to do with him being a man.
sparklecherry 4
Sure it does. It's a man thing.
jDCrackpot 7
Some strategically placed corks may help you. I'm kidding, but you should look into some snoring remedies.
Keevarou 17
I feel sorry for you:/ The snoring can be "hard" enough to handle if it gets out of hand, but farting too is just the "cream" At least you don't leave him, and that says a lot about you! So he should be thankful for that
Il_Maestro 6
I don't understand what you were doing with those quotes.
Keevarou 17
Like a not literal meaning, if you catch my drift , sorry.
Calyx_fml 22
Keevarou, sorry dude but I've gotta say that your comments are typically as nice-guy-nauseating as Stuart Smalley. This one takes the cake.
trismagestus 19
Wait, seriously? It's good she doesn't leave him for farting in his sleep? Who doesn't fart in their sleep? Snoring has remedies, though, she should look into that.
thelastavailable 13
You could either get him to wear a butt plug and one of those nose things that opens the nasal passage or you could wear ear plugs.
jonjak 7
Haha,well said.
imavelociraptor 6
And you know what a drunken horse sounds like becaaauuussseee??? "Lucyyyy you got some 'splaining to dooo"
Branflakes78 13
just stop
therealslim 15
Such excessive use of extra letters makes me sickkkkkkkkkkk.
pokefan813 16
53 - Typing up that comment must've made you hurl.
other121 2
I think it was kinda funny.. If u put the lucy thing into a really crazy pissed off black woman's voice.
Ugi 27
I worry from OP's description that he doesn't only snore at night but all day too! You must be worried that if he gets his snoring fixed he'll spend the whole time farting! Might be worth the risk - he should talk to the doc about his snoring problem 'cos there are ways these things can be improved.
DollyDope 17
What a noisy guy. Ear plugs must be your best friend at night .