Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have a big dick, it's narcissistic. If you have a little winky, it's hilarious!
doctorhook86 25
I don't see a gender on this FML, so I'm choosing to believe that Megan Fox wrote it.
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Comments (141)
joanniejore 7
The only time I have ever heard of something similar is in the movie American Psycho with Christian Bale. There's a scene where he's having a three way, and keeps checking himself out in the mirror. Just saying.
kitties_fml 12
It depends--are you bisexual? I am & I gotta say, my own delightful ******* and slender hourglass figure definitely turn me on.
azk3000 9
Go on. Oh, that? Ignore that, that's just a marker I put in my pocket...
angela11112334 0
I wish I had a dick to ********** either way (; Lmfao jk
bubo_fml 11
I'd be more concerned about the post fapping delimma. Clean off a spunky mirror or throw away a soggy **** pic...
jizzinyourpants 4
I thought I was the only one :-/
Jzigzags 4
uhhh. How is this an FML exactly?
CeltHound 14
Pathetic!!!!!!!!!
Frooo 6
I did that too, it's not really pathetic, you just try at least once. I love(not) how people on here are judging someone based on one single sentence.
hateevryone 15
I wouldn't even want to look at myself while masturbating.
Complaining 13
It's more common than it seems.