Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML
Today, while I took my dog out, my mother began to cook, took a Xanax, locked the doors, and passed out. When I managed to get in, I called the paramedics because she was in the smoke for at least an hour. When she became conscious, she blamed me for everything. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, my dog woke me up with the sound of vomiting. I immediately got up and tried to figure out what he was doing. After 30 minutes, he didn’t vomit, just kept making the sounds. I banished him from my presence for some more shuteye. FML
Today, my dog was cold, so she kept sitting around the oven. When I opened it to put my pizza in, she hopped into it. The massive yelp of pain as she did so is going to haunt my dreams… and my financial stability. Even the vet has no idea how she's still alive. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
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Top comments
appygirlify 17
hey, atleast your dog has priorities right?
zharks1010 18
Obviously your dog can't understand that
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Comments (42)
appygirlify 17
hey, atleast your dog has priorities right?
NakuEh 27
My dog would have just walked over me and then went to sleep.
zharks1010 18
Obviously your dog can't understand that
MossyMegaMan 20
You would be surprised. Depending on breed, most dogs can easily tell when their owner is in danger or acting abnormally. And then they try to fix it.
Anti_Sora 31
Sorry you passed out OP but dogs don't always understand the situation because some dogs just fall asleep in front of the food bowl.
imkool136 22
Hope you're ok. I've passed out a few times too and it's a scary thing
amvoisard 7
What a bitch. Get it?
MDoremis 38
Priorities, man.
WitEluded 13
Lassie only ran for help for Timmy because it was a television show and everything was staged. Don't count on an animal that eats it's on vomit to save your life in a time of crisis.
americanafrican 32
lassie come home!
sturschaedel 27
My childhood cat has saved my life once. And I saw a documentary once about how there are dogs especially trained to save the life of diabetics. Animals perceive things differently than us so the dog probably smelled that there was nothing seriously wrong with OP. But yeah, I wouldn't want to depend on an animal waking me in time.
Oppression_fml 19
If you pass out randomly maybe you have diabetes, go check yourself asap!
Anti_Sora 31
That was how I found out I had diabetes except I was in the living room.
SashaTaras 26
If your dog fell asleep or passed out on your food you would be pretty upset too.