Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "Well I was looking for your boobs but… apparently you have none." FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy. He didn't last 30 seconds before finishing, Then his car wouldn't start. I ended up walking home after a hook up that wasn't worth it. FML
Today, as I was getting dressed after a shower, I spent a good 30 seconds searching for my underwear… which I'd already put on at that point. FML
Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML
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Top comments
maskedman 9
Apparently he never had the "boys have a penis and girls have a ******" talk with his mommy and daddy.
Rickymonkeypants 0
omg that is the fml of the day
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Comments (244)
78euge781995 0
Was the guy looking for a penis or havent you shaved down there in your landing strip so that it looks like a forest? You have to keep your landing strip clean or else airplanes cant find it, land and leave their passangers there.
CanadianNarwhal 13
Win
tinaletto 0
it's called a Brazilian wax maybe he will pay half to get it done
perdix 31
Did Aerosmith write a follow-up song called "Lady Looks Like a Dude?" You didn't meet him at a gay bar, did you, Pat?
78euge781995 0
lol
Dubstep_fml 1
unisex name win^^
seanseansean321 0
commenters are stupid. pubes have nothing to do with hygiene. they're a natural part of life. I let my pubes grow wild. when I unzip my pants. the song "in the jungle" starts playing
Magman_fml 7
lol
sum1savemeh 0
lol!
sami1994 0
win! ^^
ifmyheartwasahou 2
I almost died laughing when I read this LOL.
meg1124 6
ftw!
nicolebenaa 0
somebody needs to shave.
DizzoMonkey 0
Wow. that is one that I never saw coming!! Congrads on the twist! Hope the storys not true though..
chandlerthedog 0
She is prob really fat and his hand was in a roll and he couldn't find the hole... good birth control I guess... hope the roll wasn't hairy... maybe had some white sweat cheese in it for a snack... yummmmmmmm.....
sabatical 0
Is it your pubes that are all over the next fml's bed?
Ibonkedyourmom 0
lmfao hahaha!
SupermanXL 3
hehehe
sabatical 0
Zing!
goonie85 0
It says nothing about being hairy. Maybe he legitimately had no idea what he's looking for. Sit on his face and show him where it is.
skullye99 0
^^^win!