Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "Well I was looking for your boobs but… apparently you have none." FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy. He didn't last 30 seconds before finishing, Then his car wouldn't start. I ended up walking home after a hook up that wasn't worth it. FML
Today, as I was getting dressed after a shower, I spent a good 30 seconds searching for my underwear… which I'd already put on at that point. FML
Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML
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Top comments
maskedman 9
Apparently he never had the "boys have a penis and girls have a ******" talk with his mommy and daddy.
Rickymonkeypants 0
omg that is the fml of the day
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Comments (244)
Godxboredx 0
guess he was looking for something you don't have. lol
MidgetMonster 0
gross, now just wouldn't you like to put your face in that.
IAMLALA 0
Lol when i thought of this i thought of her being to heavy, not to hairy.
Sunset_Taco 0
she could be fat.
Ibonkedyourmom 0
yea same like if he Pythia hand in there and there a big flab of fat over it and is covering it
Ibonkedyourmom 0
*put his
aeliz 0
Me too. I thought well, either she's too fat or he's exceptionally dumb.
TheRipper_fml 0
OK then it's settled. OP deserves it for being a fat, hairy chick trying to get it on with a retarded boy.
Dismissal 4
LOL, 93 wins.
penpal33 7
I think it is time you had the 'TALK' with him about facts of life!
jonny2x4 0
Whoa! Heavy petting fail!
xSundae 6
he should have rolled her in flour, and looked for the wet spot. Just a tip for next time.
ChrisCTL 0
I LOL'd at this.
trizzieb 0
next time, slap her thigh and ride the wave in.
icifresh911 0
LMAO @ 19 .... hilarious!
yummy_mummy 0
I don't think he knew what he was doing, you may be the first girl he's ever touched "there" I think you need to show him what's where and what to do with it
karina_said 0
i agree. you should have guided him
cracktus 0
This FML is super ambiguous. Did he think you were a dude? Were you too hairy? Too fat? Clarify!
coolsteve 0
he was trying to find her clit but hers was too small or she wasnt aroused enough yet
JoeMamas 0
Anyone get the feeling OP's a dude?
jsquared3509 0
I don't think it has anything to do with hair. fat. or penis's. maybe he's a newby and can't find the hole.
maskedman 9
Just like a bad golfer.
MF12 0
And very unlike Tiger Woods.
zolltf 4
^^Win