Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML
Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML
Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was OK, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
epoh_fml 0
that would have definitely irritated your ******.
xlossofmex 0
interesting birth control there.
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Comments (156)
xlossofmex 0
interesting birth control there.
White667 0
Also dangerous, right? That seems like an accident waiting to happen.
YeahFMLxX 0
maybe he was joking at the size of his jock? my girlfriend wouldve just laughed and told me to hit wallgreens.
Rawwrness 3
haha u fail if that sock had a hole in it lolz!! and that is gross
hellokittywhore 0
I call fake her screen names ilovesocks. if she indeed loved socks she would have gone for it. it's a lil convient that that's her screen name. liar. pants on fire.
ilikepie789 0
would it have been better if it was from his right foot?
wintamint101 7
how would it even fit?
Macromartyr 3
Wouldn't that dry things up pretty fast? yeah I'm pretty sure it would...
Sammyhaha 0
**** *****=slore lolz
coolstorybro6969 6
Always have a backup plan
gotpromise 0
haha.. atleast he's creative
Bertha5 0
eeww. was he being funny?
azurablade 0
I call fake, unless he was just joking...
epoh_fml 0
that would have definitely irritated your ******.
Monikabug 9
Especially if he has a foot fungus. Can you imagine having Athlete's Foot in your ******? :l
bambie612 0
ewwwwwwwww #120
coolstorybro6969 6
Athletes ******...yum
CrazyLaughs4Me 17
ugh what the fück does someone say about that?!
JaydnGage 0
feral much.
uhohuscrewedup 0
here's hoping you didn't give him a bj after it. fyl
rider12 0
haha that's hilarious next time stuck in a slow elevator just use a sock
Cruth 2
I hope u didn't had sex with him then…
SenGaeriel 3
You have got to be kidding me?? This is either fake or the OP's guy is an idiot.
jesbar95 10
ew thats kinda gross!