Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML
Today, my boss thought it was funny to fire me by putting on dark sunglasses and saying "You have been terminated" in a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. FML
Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML
Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I got fired. My coworker decided to imitate my voice, stand outside of my boss's office door, and say insulting things about his daughter. FML
Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML
How very dare you?
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
Customer relationships
Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML
Snarky
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Top comments
DKjazz 20
"Nazi accent"? Nazi isn't a dialect or a language. It's a political group. What does a libertarian accent sound like, I wonder?
defferwa 9
Mein god!
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Comments (87)
defferwa 9
Mein god!
TheComputerGuy96 16
*Gott
blcksocks 19
Yeah, What was your boss sinking??
xXxIracebethxXx 14
OP must have turned ashen when they heard they were fired!
xlord 27
that is just not REICH
Krajjan 9
39's joke is so inappropriate, I feel like I need a shower. Da-dum.
kathuzada 6
You could sue, but you can't afford it
hama806 19
That sounds a bit like discrimination. Sue her ass is about right.
MistaKrista 8
Aren't there lawyers who will take cases before getting paid if they're positive they're going to win?
patrickalamo 48
You where discriminated on the basis of your ethnicity. There are federal statutes that will protect you.
artisticninja713 13
It's called pro bono, if this is what actually happened I'd say you have a good chance of winning.
marrrry 4
Actually it's called contingency, when the lawyer defers payment until the case has been settled in the client's favor. Pro bono would mean the lawyer never gets paid, no matter the outcome.
jmacfan1 16
70- here in ok there are lawyers who you don't have to pay a dime unless they win your case
EnigmaThe321 12
Political correctness is far too engrained in our society now. :(
alycion 39
Yup. It has been out of hand for awhile and this is just further proof.
istishia 12
Out of curiosity; have either of you encountered any racist, sexist or homophobic statements directed against you?
louiseth 9
Yeah, I once had someone tell me "You're all descended from convicts" and I said "Yeah, that's true." I think it was meant to be offensive or something. In relation to the FML, why would someone assume that, even if someone did put on a fake German accent (which is a ridiculous initial assumption), they would mean for it to be offensive to Jewish people? Entirely agree with 4.
P374RD3D 9
22-I think we can agree that racism, sexism, and homophobia are all bad. But people go too far when opposing them. I saw an article on the news one time about a high-schooler who had painted a mural at his school that depicted a man and a woman getting married. The school painted over it, because they were afraid that it would offend gay students or students with gay parents. There was nothing homophobic about it, they were just paranoid. That was the point of what the two commenters above you said.
madgrinchhatter 12
This isn't political correctness, this is just a stupid boss.
ScaughtieHolden 11
33, Are you Australian? Aside from natives, Australia was colonized by English convicts. (Correct me if I'm wrong)
UberNova 18
65- That is true, but most people assume that Australia was the only place England sent their criminals; America was sent criminals before Australia.
doctorhook86 25
68: Well that explains Mitt Romney.
DobbytheElf 4
Dobby can make him dissapear!
BlowinChronic 18
Your profile pic just made me burst into laughter... Looks like it should be on an inspirational poster or something. Haha
YouDaIdiot 4
He can Nazi that's she's foreign.
s0m3guy2010 21
You could always work at the soup kitchen for Jerry Seinfeld. I've heard they're short on Soup Nazis.
woainishamu 21
"No soup for you!" -Soup Nazi
onlychildFTW 34
"You want bread" - soup nazi "Uh yes please" - George "3 dollars!" - Soup nazi "You were kissing in my line? No one kisses in my line!" - soup nazi
DKjazz 20
"Nazi accent"? Nazi isn't a dialect or a language. It's a political group. What does a libertarian accent sound like, I wonder?
AlphaJam 1
Just let out a large fart... You'll know then.
LexieWins 0
Have you never heard a republican speak? It's fairly obvious.
Bad_LuckBrian 9
You can either explain to get your job back, or get a new job and be sure to mention that you are German.
AKGirlinSD 20
Or, better yet, contact the labor board to see if it was even legal for your boss to fire you, with the boss assuming you're a Nazi, due to your race. Unless the OP lives in an At-Will state, that's grounds for illegal termination. Then again, who would want their job back after being treated like that by their boss?
NereidAlbel 14
Even in an at-will state, federal law would make firing somebody over their nationality illegal.
thatonename 7
I always here the " that's not legal grounds for termination" reasoning, but you guys know they don't actually put " I thought they were a nazi" on the paperwork. As bullshit as it is, a lot of companies will just put down that you were not keeping up with pace or some other bullshit. It's not like they send out a federal agent to double check everyone who ever gets fired.
zingline89 18
Yikes. Fired over your accent. Bet you did Nazi that coming.
CarmenCnh 22
Ba-dum-tsss !
ICATiger 13
I have the final solution for this problem.
zingline89 18
32 - This is nazi time for final solutions. I kampf believe you are jumping the gun on this one. Anne frankly I am annoyed by it.
kriz_allizwell 6
Reich you are, sir!
GrammarTeacher 1
I hail both of your jokes! No too bad? I'll go back to my cave now...
zingline89 18
*heil
needarb 3
Sue sue sue!
ICATiger 13
Because 'Merica
Threnody666 19
**** yea!
Krajjan 9
30 - 'Murica! 'MUrica! I refuse to have my country called by some commie pinko socialist name an E in it!