Today, the seemingly normal guy I've been dating for a while told me he is a wolf spirit in a human body to bridge the gap of his ancestors and humans. What?! FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML
Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying, "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML
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Top comments
Sagar Nair 12
Tell him you’re a from a family of vampires and cannot be compatible with him.
Brightside86 31
Eh, finding someone normal is hard. If the worst thing about him is he's a wolf spirit I'd say that beats getting back on tinder.
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Comments (14)
crashtestdumplin 16
Is he Native American?
Jonkbaby 23
I'm native American, and usually people that say things like this are usually caucasian
Allsmash123 10
No that’s not what Natives believe in. He’s just delusional
CoyoteOldOne 17
I am named after an animal. People ask me if i am native american all the time. I have wavy brown hair, pale skin, a full beard, and am obviously a caucasian european. I don's understand white people either.
Sagar Nair 12
Tell him you’re a from a family of vampires and cannot be compatible with him.
JasonThorn 23
...I like the cut of your jib.
RichardPencil 32
Test him and see if he likes belly rubs. Ask him, "Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? " and if he can't answer, he's not a real wolf.
Yudith 28
This guy is not a dog. You need lots of patience and treats to get him to respond to "Who's a good boy?", let alone stopping him from pissing all over the toilet bowl. Then, when he responds to the rewards, you may move on to sit, stay and heel.
Brightside86 31
Eh, finding someone normal is hard. If the worst thing about him is he's a wolf spirit I'd say that beats getting back on tinder.
kfchicken 31
to be fair normal is pretty basic and boring. plus I don't think anyone is really completely normal, you just have to find your level of abnormal
bloopaloop 27
Cocaine is a hell of a drug!
katydid91 31
Dated a guy like that once. My advice for you: Get out of that relationship! It will lead to nowhere good.
toooldforthis 19
OH wait, I've seen this one! More of his people will turn if vampires are near. Please be team Jacob so we can see how this plays out lol
ojoRojo 27
Still a better love story than Twi— oh wait.
TinScarecrow 15
Are you kidding me, here? If the guy had said he was a woman y'all would be calling OP a monster for not understanding and correcting pronouns left and right. Being a wolf is equally unrealistic, but suddenly you guys forget your tolerance. Pick a side. Either it's all weird or none of it is
bl3ur0z3 17
You heard him. He's a wolf spirit in a human body to bridge the gap between his ancestors and humans. He couldn't have been any clearer. At least he's not a zombie. That would be awkward, always trying to eat your brains and shit.