Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the seemingly normal guy I've been dating for a while told me he is a wolf spirit in a human body to bridge the gap of his ancestors and humans. What?! FML
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
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Top comments
theycallmejadeee 8
I'd be more worried about the "black dog" following you.
grafeety 9
That is siriusly grim.
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Comments (196)
Acik91 26
Black dog means something awful will happen. According to J.K.Rowling, that is. (I'm pretty sure she didn't make it up herself, though). Don't go into this relationship, OP. It's apparently bothering you, since you posted FML about this, and after a few hours you don't have anything that'd hold you back from leaving.
tj5810 21
I believe that some people can see things like that. Send him my way, I have some questions!!
GuinnessGirrrl 8
I'd rather have the big black dog following you around ... at least you'll have protection from the weirdos you seem to attract! (Hopefully, the big black dog is a German Shepherd :-))
blcksocks 19
Its terrible if OP was ever known as a big black dog
gingher_fml 9
I wouldn't be too worried. The dog is probably your godfather.
doodlecloud 27
Well I hope you were nice to him - that kind of thing isn't easy to live with. And it doesn't matter if you believe him or not. Can you imagine seeing these kinds of things everywhere, whether real or imagined, and worse having no-one believe and support you? Not very fun.
perdix 31
I hope it's a Black Labrador, because they're adorable and smart. It's good that it's apparently imaginary, because imaginary dog food and vet bills are much cheaper than real ones. This guy could be a keeper if he can run down the dead people who owe you money.
NyappyCat 12
if only this spirit-viewer could run down the living who owe me money, I would be up 2 grand right now! Or, perhaps someone, somewhere is aware of this, watching my every move through a looking-glass and enjoying the humors of my misfortune too much to influence my path in life. Ah, what a life that must be for some lucky spirit..
eddiemusicjazz 11
I wonder if he thought hard about it before telling you... Especially after a mere 4 hours.
doodlecloud 27
Maybe he wanted to be clear with her from the start so he didn't have to tell her when they got serious and he was invested in the relationship and risk her freaking out then?
doritoninja 4
No matter what anyone here says about the dog being protection, it's not true. My comment will undoubtedly get buried, but at least I tried. The dog is a grim, or a sign of bad things to come. Usually death. Maybe not you, but someone you love. And breaking up with this guy will not remove the grim. It will just mean one less person that can see it. Go ahead, call me crazy, call me a lunatic or retarded, but I've said my piece.
AKGirlinSD 20
You aren't the only one to state this but you did go into greater detail. So far, it appears people are aware of this grim outlook, including myself.
perdix 31
You won't get thumbed down. Your longwindedness gained you some TL;DR Protection.
hayyad 7
Yeah black dogs are a bad sign. I have nightmares of black dogs or animals in general attacking me but I always fight back or kill them in the nightmare. It means someone is harming you or trying to harm you.
Mr25_fml 14
That's pretty Sirius, don't you think? I wonder how Harry the dog is. Maybe it was Fluffy.
pennies_lane 6
I'm sorry... but that... was shit!