Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the seemingly normal guy I've been dating for a while told me he is a wolf spirit in a human body to bridge the gap of his ancestors and humans. What?! FML
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
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Top comments
theycallmejadeee 8
I'd be more worried about the "black dog" following you.
grafeety 9
That is siriusly grim.
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Comments (196)
Trisha_aus 15
Why the name holyshitbatman? Is there something Bruce forgot to tell us..
perdix 31
Today, I started dating a seemingly normal girl. My dead friends told me she brings her big, black dog everywhere. FML.
nowayisthisreal 4
By far the best comment I have ever seen on fml.
perdix 31
Thank you. Dabbling with the dreaded "reverse FML" is perilous. I'm glad you liked it.
Enslaved 38
The seventh son of a seventh son? Don't knock the power! I know persons claiming to have similar sight. Never dead wrong! One friend sees a dead person at crash sites long before we get to those crosses with the "please drive carefully/ RIP" signs.
iLuvsIt 10
One friend's been down that road before...
lambda_fml 40
Obviously he is a wizard. That big black dog is Sirius. Ask him if there are any dementors around. Ask him how long his magic wand is. No? Okay...
BlackBlazeCobra 16
I'm not sure how open you are to the paranormal but, a "black dog" usually means a bad sign. I'd be careful, OP.
AholeCop 11
Patrick Swayze saw a black dog and no one thought he was crazy (I have a feeling few will get the reference).
EasternAdvantage 1
A black dog is bad omen, maybe he is trying to save you :P, and don't think that he is totally crazy I've seen ghosts and most of my family has too, just not all the time lol this life is not the end ;) hahaha
mimiminx 23
I'm not sure '4 hours' could be classed as a relationship...
KogMaw 6
I'm one of those people who see things too, and trust me, it's not fun. I've tried to get help, but it's not something you can switch on and off. So send him on to FML, I'd love to have a chat. ^_^
serviabrasileira 9
You must be dating a ghost whisperer