Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML
Today, my stepfather refused to drive me to the hospital after having a toothpick that was left on the floor lodge itself and break off in the bottom of my foot. He's the only person in the house that uses toothpicks. FML
Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Uhm, floss. Duh.
ScatteredMind 0
seriously dude? that's an fml??
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Comments (62)
ScatteredMind 0
seriously dude? that's an fml??
irishdancer 0
I know right??? Seriously though, use tweezers.
thealliance 0
YDI for eating
woah_dang_baby_fml 0
lmao.
volleyballgirl16 0
yeah it isnt an FML get over yourself
benjpants 0
Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. MLIA
musicgirl84 0
This should be a MLIA. Go to www.mylifeisaverage.com
RaBe2009 0
You just sound like a dumbass. how about brush your teeth or floss...
iiTEMP524 0
uhm why not just brush your teeth you grimey bitch?
Strawberriez95 0
"I dont have gaps" FML.
krazygirl100 9
better get another toothpick
imajinethat 0
Uhm, floss. Duh.
ISellHerbs 0
Yeah I heard about that new stuff called dental floss. I heard it was pretty good you should try it.
PIQ 0
WORD! LOL
FapFapFapFap 0
TWO WORD POSTS IN ALL CAPS WITH NO ACTUAL MESSAGE WILL MAKE ME COOL? I wish I had known about that years ago, *that's* Why people always yell at me on the internet.
HurpMcDerpington 0
Your name is FapFapFapFap. You have no room to rage.
pingpongdj 0
you mean you didn't floss? in the hours you spent trying to get the food out, you didn't think of flossing? wow!!!!!
Velorium 0
No shit, floss!
sydney184829 0
Um.. Try a new toothpick.
hat_fml 0
That's not FML
imajinethat 0
Finding floss is easier than going all the way out to dinner to get a toothpick.
juicyjay00 0
cheaper, too.
Endymion_fml 0
It feels really bad when you get things between your teeth (it's like stones in your shoes- they might be the size of a grain of sand but they feel enormous), but not exactly a '**** my life' moment.
Glam_fml 0
"I didn't have anything to use." The OP obviously didn't have floss. Learn some reading comprehension.
imajinethat 0
They also spent hours trying to get it out. Go to drugstore. Buy floss. Use daily. Not rocket science.
catatonicsleep 17
get another toothpick but be more gentle with it so you don't snap it.
WoLfNiNja3 0
Wow? Sucks for u
thealliance 0
ydi for eating