Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML
Today, my stepfather refused to drive me to the hospital after having a toothpick that was left on the floor lodge itself and break off in the bottom of my foot. He's the only person in the house that uses toothpicks. FML
Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Uhm, floss. Duh.
ScatteredMind 0
seriously dude? that's an fml??
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Comments (62)
Bumlove89 0
You and the dude who got a paper cut should get together and write a novel.
good_life35 0
LMFAO; this made my day :)
DameGreyWulf 1
Hey, I thought something similar too.
Butterfly_D 0
It's called floss.
john_bell 0
I couldn't give a shit
vita_questa_roba 0
Ew. Not something I would be posting on the internet. Seriously.
SomeRandomGuy18 0
Floss is for niggers.
himynameisanna 0
damn, you must have some pretty big ******* teeth.
himynameisanna 0
hahaha i second that :P
i_is_a_tr00l 0
YDI FOR BEING A PEDOPHILE!!
StraightUp 1
Um is everyone retarded? OP should have just used the other side of the toothpick. The tip of the toothpick broke, and usually theres 2 ends to a toothpick. idk.
StraightUp 1
Um is everyone retarded? OP should have just used the other side of the toothpick. The tip of the toothpick broke, and usually theres 2 ends to a toothpick. idk.