Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML
Today, my stepfather refused to drive me to the hospital after having a toothpick that was left on the floor lodge itself and break off in the bottom of my foot. He's the only person in the house that uses toothpicks. FML
Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Uhm, floss. Duh.
ScatteredMind 0
seriously dude? that's an fml??
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Comments (62)
BeforeTheStorm 0
I floss and still get stuff stuck in my teeth guysss.
katiegason 0
LMFAO @21
Arcran5 0
Wow, y'know, I cried for you. No one cares about your toothpick. I I wrote FMLs about my suicidal depression, they were rejected, but this shit gets on? ****'s sack.
starberries 0
They got rejected because this site is for laughs. You really don't want people laughing about your suicidal depression. You need to talk to someone, or at the very least you should find a depression support group online and write about it there.
kei1108 13
I was about to write the same thing. You can get help.
chriswest54 0
ydi for having ****** up teeth
kathrynclw 0
you don't own any floss??
Csar 0
This is not FML worthy material. See me after class.
leothekitty 3
cute
mrbassman1895 0
So you didn't have a tooth brush or floss?
rockgirl7 2
That's just.. Gross
Aimskool 10
thats why they make a toothpick with two ends to use.