Today, my stepfather refused to drive me to the hospital after having a toothpick that was left on the floor lodge itself and break off in the bottom of my foot. He's the only person in the house that uses toothpicks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML
Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML
Today, my dentist pulled the wrong tooth. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML
Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long, nasty toenails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
This needs a visit to an urgent care clinic - not an ER. ER’s in the USA are very expensive and usually have very long waiting unless it’s a genuine life threatening emergency - And this is not that. While this can be somewhat painful, in reality it’s a “splinter” in your foot and not a medical emergency that is life threatening. In the future, wear house shoes, sandals, or flip-flops even in the house to avoid this. You can’t fix your stepfather’s sloppy habits with his toothpicks, but you can protect your feet.
RichardPencil 32
When it comes to selecting men, your mom isn't very... ...wait on it... ...picky! (Or maybe she's very picky. I can't decide.)
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Comments (2)
Chazzster 32
This needs a visit to an urgent care clinic - not an ER. ER’s in the USA are very expensive and usually have very long waiting unless it’s a genuine life threatening emergency - And this is not that. While this can be somewhat painful, in reality it’s a “splinter” in your foot and not a medical emergency that is life threatening. In the future, wear house shoes, sandals, or flip-flops even in the house to avoid this. You can’t fix your stepfather’s sloppy habits with his toothpicks, but you can protect your feet.
RichardPencil 32
When it comes to selecting men, your mom isn't very... ...wait on it... ...picky! (Or maybe she's very picky. I can't decide.)