Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML
Today, my stepfather refused to drive me to the hospital after having a toothpick that was left on the floor lodge itself and break off in the bottom of my foot. He's the only person in the house that uses toothpicks. FML
Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Uhm, floss. Duh.
ScatteredMind 0
seriously dude? that's an fml??
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Comments (62)
Alfredo_fml 0
Use another toothpick to get them out
bassfah 0
so? nobody cares..
Missythevampire 0
How to take care of your mouth: 1. brush your teeth daily 2. floss daily 3. rinse with mouthwash This isn't an FML.
dzidziaud 5
if you have long hair, you can use it as floss in desperate situations like these :]
DUD_fml 0
yes, **** your life because there's a toothpick stuck in your teeth.
SilverEyesAtDawn 0
LOL Heh that just totally made my day xD
magna_13 0
uhhhh Toothbrush?
Yyz 0
I have actually done this. Didn't post about it on FML.
netdude 0
dude, don't use toothpicks... I used to, they make gaps so large over time and stuff... just brush like nuts whenever you eat (i recently picked up this incessant habbit)... invest the money in 1 good item, a sweet toothbrush... and it'll be an investment that will pay back in dividends.
Tangere 0
There's a product to help those people like you who struggle with normal, everyday activities. It's called a Snuggie
MagicMeds 0
SO MUCH WIN! If only you'd come here sooner we could avoid all of these lame floss comments! Also We REALLY need a "Who cares?" button!
yay4felix 0
One word: floss.