Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
Today, my friend's 11 year-old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML
Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML
Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML
Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
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Top comments
Aspen_Grace33 27
Well, look at the bright side...you're a great teacher!!!
Abdul888 16
You taught him "self defense," and now the brat learned to assault.
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Comments (60)
Zebediabolical 45
Never teach a move you don't know how to defend.
Omniprism 15
You're supposed to know how to block those.
Kaaykuwatzuu 13
Must've been some knock-out talent.
DaRito 25
Spock, did you teach him the Vulcan nerve pinch?
ILikeKoalas 24
What a little prick.
ILikeKoalas 24
You suck validator! ;)
junkusernamexyz 17
Well he had to practice somehow
Gillett 23
I feel your pain. I began teaching my son how to defend himself at the age of two because he was such a runt. First was how to land a solid right hook and when i was watching TV with him later that day he sucker punched me and had my nose gushing with blood!
malachite1357 11
I mean, at least you taught him correctly. Maybe a little TOO correctly?
Speedy1979 13
Lol!!