Today, my mother was vaccuming the stairs. Trying to be polite, I climbed over the banister to the floor above, so I wouldn't interrupt her. She looked at me odd and said, "I'm surprised that held your weight." The banister is maple and steel. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML
Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, I was helping my Grandfather to sort through tubs and bins after cleaning out his attic, and I had to move a 50lb bin downstairs. That's when the dog thought it would be funny to block the top of the stairs as I was going down. FML
Today, my mom is mad at me because, at her insistence, I got a company to install a stairlift for her due to the pain in her legs, and after buying it and getting it installed, it turns out she’s too obese for it. It can carry me and Dad, but with her it just makes a grinding noise and refuses to move. FML
Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML
Today, I was walking up some stairs, and I told the guy in front of me to be careful, as the handrail was loose and well-worn. I then put my hand on it, and promptly fell backwards down the stairs with a piece of handrail still in my hand. FML
Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mother, during which she told me she wished she’d thrown herself down the stairs the minute she discovered she was pregnant. I told her, “There's the stairs, help yourself!” She called the police and told them I threatened to push her down the stairs. FML
Today, I had to fake fall down the stairs so my mom would stop texting and actually pay attention to what I was saying. FML
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Top comments
babydoll86_fml 0
Should have said you were surprised her legs could hold her weight. What a cow.
hk_fml 9
Ouch. O___O Maybe your mom'll learn to be polite off you
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Comments (44)
King_of_Kings 3
well, atleast your polite
hk_fml 9
Ouch. O___O Maybe your mom'll learn to be polite off you
MyImmortal_fml 0
Tell her "Maybe you need your eyes checked" or "You are turning uglier by the day!"
inn0centaphid 19
How about you try that and get grounded?
danza_fml 0
Umm... Maybe your mom didn't know what the banister was made of?
babydoll86_fml 0
Should have said you were surprised her legs could hold her weight. What a cow.
extrasnipes 22
Moooooooooooooooove it bitch
PlasticShark 0
You should have said you were surprised the stairs could hold her. That, or just push her down them.
elfuzzo 0
YDI for being fat.
mattfire14 12
You shouldve laughed it off and said mooooo
FPsLife 5
Some of the kids on here should have been aborted...
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
It's your mother. You should assume the best about her - what she meant was, she was surprised it would hold any grown person's weight. @1, it's "you're". Or have you not learned about contractions yet?
Jared900DUmpling 30
Gotta remeber, if it is possession, it is your. If it is you are, it is you're.
Vykeera 0
She probably didn't think about the steel in it. I know I accidentally say worse things all the time.