Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, my brother came out to our parents. They weren't super happy with it, but they said that it was ok since they still had a straight son. I don't know how to tell them that I'm gay too. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
Today, my sister gently asked me if I was gay. Turns out I've been without a boyfriend for so long that the whole family believes I secretly have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I tried proving to my best friend that I wasn't a lesbian by telling her I once liked her brother. She was mad because I never told her and now she's calling him. FML
Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
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Top comments
luarasticks 13
technically, the joke would still work with the classic rock, paper, scissors.
gracehi 33
That sucks, although I'm guessing you don't.
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Comments (77)
gracehi 33
That sucks, although I'm guessing you don't.
_kyleG_ 34
I mean, if we're getting technical here...
sarah5745 41
Your brother is amazing!
mct_1087 27
That's ****** up. You should *metaphorically* throw a rock at his face.
tantanpanda 26
I think this would be a good instance of literally.
weswheatley 14
Do you even know the definition of metaphorically?
MaT30123 19
Do you know what a metaphor is? Didn't we learn that in like 3rd or 4th grade?
AlwaysMeAlways 4
It would be more appropriate to use figuratively instead of metaphorically.
socialproduct 19
So does ****** beat paper?
Dreamsorrow93 24
****** bleeds on paper, rock plugs ******, and paper covers rock. Gosh didn't you go to grade school?
rockwrench 18
Too funny #6.
int15 18
Priceless!
Gillett 23
of course, ****** beats everything except oral!
Dreamsorrow93 24
Lesbians can be very dangerous.
codytallica 38
Any sexual orientation can be dangerous, depends on the person. Me and you should play rock, paper, ignore.
Dreamsorrow93 24
It's a reference from the Netflix series "Orange is the New Black".
brand125 17
24 - no duh! >_
rachelthelime_fml 29
Oh dear.... How young are we talking here?
slingerslasher 24
45
luarasticks 13
technically, the joke would still work with the classic rock, paper, scissors.
philsh94 20
thank you for making my day!
kewpiesuicide 29
But for the record, real lesbians don't scissor. That's all fake lesbians in the **** industry catering to male fantasy.
MandyO 15
Does ****** beat paper? ****** beats everything!
Ichiya 29
I don't know about that. Vaginas take a beating pretty often.
8313girl 28
And keep on kicking! Vaginas are the strongest around!!!
Waschlappen 23
Well, at least he seems to be okay with it? It still sounds really annoying though.
Wsparta 26
I somehow find myself slightly complexes on how you brother's mind connected lesbians and rock paper scissors. :-/
Driving_Gaming 22
Lesbians do scissoring when getting it on.