Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML
Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML
Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, I got back home and my hamster was dead. I left notes two weeks ago everywhere to remind my parents to feed it while I was overseas. Apparently, my parents even didn't realize I was gone. FML
Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML
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Top comments
carcinogenic 7
Your neighbours sure aren't guinea be happy about this.
droid1126 25
Its replacement time!
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Comments (108)
droid1126 25
Its replacement time!
caohm 18
reminds me of Spongebob when Patrick had to take care or Gary the snail and since he's a dumbass Gary pretty much starved hot sick almost died.
Pleonasm 36
That was Squidward, not Patrick, and it was because he was an asshole that didn't give a shit about Gary and wanted Spongebob gone, not because he was an oblivious buffoon. Sorry, couldn't resist.
XCrazyMofo2010X 17
No he's right. There's an episode where Patrick takes care of Gary while Spongebob's at his grandma's party. Patrick harms Gary while taking care of him since he ignored Spongebob's directions. Don't worry, I love correcting people on Spongebob too
Pleonasm 36
Can you tell me the name of the episode? I don't remember that one at all, sorry!
Voij 16
The episode is called "Pet Sitter Pat", part of season 8.
TechFire 25
Why would you watch any episode from after the movie?
mageepaigeee44 15
Honestly I agree with tech fire. Now I realize why I was unfamiliar with that episode. Sorry to all spongebob fans who enjoy the more current episodes. I really don't like them as much.
BirdMockingBlack 12
It's understandable. I too have neglected the newer episodes of Spongebob, just like OP's mother neglected that poor guinea pig.
droid1126 25
I enjoy how this went from a guinea pig to Spongebob so quickly
skyttlz 32
In the new Spongebob episodes, they make Patrick so dumb it's just stupid. Pat used to be kinda funny but lately he's just annoying.
Bibi_302 7
These comments quickly switched from a Guinea Pig to Spongebob.
aisg 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So you've had a guinea pig in your house for two weeks without noticing it? Your house must be so messy it's a pig sty :)
domolovesyoshi 33
no, obviously OP was meant to go check on it next door. (and I've just now realised you were joking)
Huhhman 2
Pretty sure the guinea pig stayed at the neighbors. Why would you bring it home?
rocker_chick105 31
Their neighbor's guinea pig
aisg 14
My bad guys, didn't read the FML carefully enough!
rocker_chick105 31
Sorry for being the third to say it, the others were quicker than I was
seventhejellyman 12
A gunniepig sty
eyepuppy 31
Honestly, the mom should have offered to bring the pet over. Whenever I go on vacation, I have my neighbor s watch my dog. I pay them and he stays over there while I'm gone. It would be silly to have to go over twice a day for feeding and cleaning.
Tthug 34
Volunteer her to inform your neighbors of her retardation. And then sign her up for a new credit card.
caohm 18
a fool and his or her money are always easily departed.
carcinogenic 7
Your neighbours sure aren't guinea be happy about this.
Cadillac4427 8
Nice pun #4
weller0060 5
Dang that's smooth
DaMann360 19
I feel more sorry for the guinnea pig than OP
BillyMaize21 9
best pun ever :D
Kiki242 19
Reminds me of Fairy Odd Parents.
Sly35_fml 4
Fairly*
doodlebug33 20
the guinea pig ran away while he was at summer camp...camp...camp
SgtAssCheeks 21
Oh God #39 The nostalgia, its coming back.
mylittlecookie 17
#73, your profile picture combined with your comment made me laugh xD
nathann24 5
looks like someone's making a trip to the pet store .
Markymark1202 12
Time to search your house for a dead guinea pig!
SpicyDuck 22
No no, time to check the neighbors house...I think OP would know if their mom brought a caged animal home
08zw 19
You could a. Confess the truth to your neighbors. b. Buy a replacement Guinea pig. c. Kill your neighbors.
Dracoboxer357 36
Well...you could always do the first two opinions as well...or even all three. >:)
jerryj 27
I'm gonna go with options a & c, and save a little money.
jellybeens_fml 16
D. All the above
RpiesSPIES 27
#25 This way, you can blame the murders on a posessed guinea pig!
onorexveritas 24
I think you'll be cleaning up more than droppings
SpicyDuck 22
Just tell your neighbors right away OP, hopefully they understand and don't hold it against you. That was horrible thing for you mother to "forget"...
Markymark1202 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No No, if you killed their family pet your not let off the hook, and when a animal is starving I'm pretty sure it hunger crazed itself out of the cage
askullnamedbilly 33
OP's not even ON the hook. He wasn't told to look after the pet. This is entirely the mother's fault.