Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
amerwin 3
Next time he's napping, put his nuts into a primed rat-trap and tell him that you want to play a game.
Koshman32 7
What a pussy
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Comments (141)
jessicaiscool 0
You guys, horrible movie. If ur the type of person who's into um blood and extreme visuals of humans getting ripped apart that's the movie 4 u. Otherwise, waste of money and time.
snafu63 0
he's a douche anyways for saying he'll protect you from a movie. what a tard
sadkiddie 0
uhmm... protect you? from what? being disturbed? Cause that's what saw movies are. There not scary and the main antagonist doesn't directly kill the people, it's just watchin people die in obscene ways for 2hrs... maybe he had a bad experience as a child and didn't know that's how the movie was gonna be... next time he wants you to cuddle in fear watch sumthin else =P
divinityofflames 0
WOW He must be a little girl
Hsuclarinetboy 0
He protected you alright. Best them to the punch
cupcakemonster10_fml 0
awwwnn he's sweet but needs to toughen up
Rawr100 0
WOW
elorenzo_fml 0
Either accept his flaws or dump him. Only 2 options.
bobert258 0
well you're dating a pussy, he vcould at least hold you and not look if it was thay bad... i mean i've watched some saw movies and they're stupidly gruesome but come on!
bonsaiboy26 1
those movies are not scary they are gory. this one is a lie