Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
amerwin 3
Next time he's napping, put his nuts into a primed rat-trap and tell him that you want to play a game.
Koshman32 7
What a pussy
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Comments (141)
melanie177 1
woww!! Only a REAL man can have a reaction like that!!
Pinkskullsblackb 0
He sounds sweet. It was an accident, give him another chance
crimson_alize 2
to be perfectly honest, gay as that may hav been, i think that is the funniest thing! ha i can just picture it! haha maybe you guys shouldnt be so hard on her bf.:)
crimson_alize 2
to be perfectly honest, gay as that may hav been, i think that is the funniest thing! ha i can just picture it! haha maybe you guys shouldnt be so hard on her bf.:)
Fml70 0
Wow wat a pussy I've seen all the famous horror films and didn't scream and I'm 13
lakailuc 0
haha maybe he thought u were a killa?? LOL
CaughRedHanded 0
I'm sorry you couldnt find this out in advance but.. Your boyfriend is a pussy :/
sora314_tokyo 2
Every woman needs a brave, strong man...?
cyanidesandwich 21
roflmfaoeatwswpmfpdiatp five dollars to anyone who can guess what this means
SparklyTaco 0
I LOL'd