Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
amerwin 3
Next time he's napping, put his nuts into a primed rat-trap and tell him that you want to play a game.
Koshman32 7
What a pussy
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (141)
FFML_314 12
What a bitch.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I know you're a bitch.
ryanriola 0
no your a bitch lol
Bee_fml 2
Bee nice!
Sirin_fml 47
Yes, less bickering please...
Bee_fml 2
:-)
Sirin_fml 47
;-)
unidentified_sta 5
French emoticons are so complex. Our North American 2-3 part emoticons never have that problem. :-D
Sirin_fml 47
[repost]
unidentified_sta 5
Took a bit, I see the slanted lol representing the doomed trolls. Strange, aside from myself I rarely see anyone bother to include a nose within emoticons. Capitalism is about the death of trolls? I could get behind that assuming it is only inept trolls being purged. The capable ones provide great humour.
Herox 0
damn he FAILS
FMLforALL 0
I agree with 1. He's definitely a little bitch. Find you a real man OP. Hurry before it's too late!
spikey818 9
slappp him
starxshine 0
seriously, the movie wasn't even scary
Qluz 3
im pretty sure it was rated r for a reason
ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0
it's not scary, it's more creepy and disturbing.
DalekScythe 0
your bf before- (?_´)?. then after- ?=?=?=?=?=?=?(;???)?
kay71095 9
It's not made to be scary, it's made to be twisted, morbid, and gory
Hipnog 15
What if I told you... That noone cares.
ballinbri123 0
ouchh :/ but at least he said he wanted to procect you which is supersweet
TapialPaado 1
Ever hear that saying, "Actions speak louder than words?"
2muchshyt 0
no , would u rather some on say they're gunna rape u, or or actually do it!
NewSlang 0
Protect her? From what? The attack-ready movie theatre screen?
tooFLY 0
49--go back to school and learn to spell before posting again... thanks a ton
babbiebee 0
72-- get oveeerrrrrrrr iiittttttttt see I spelled thinnngggsaa wrong it's funnn haha..... Ur being dumb
by4x4 4
82 This is FML, there is a reason all post are moderated, everyone on here are Grammer Nazi's.
Koshman32 7
What a pussy
sk8erd 15
Agreed that dude has a coward side
xoxoallykinzxoxo 0
yeah but why would he give her a bloody nose , to be funny?
goodlike_fml 0
how doing this can be funny? that s jusy retarded
purple_zebras_ 0
haha that's hilarious!!
Moota 9
giving some one a bloody nose isn't funny
MissNicky_fml 0
He gave her a bloody nose on accident because he jumped op and probably elbowed her or something
amerwin 3
Next time he's napping, put his nuts into a primed rat-trap and tell him that you want to play a game.
bigphill1333 0
My balls shrived up when I read your comment. *shudders*
macskapingvin 0
That won't worry him. He's already proved he doesn't have any balls.
maybaybe 0
#38 win
iceingdeath4 0
get a boyfriend who's less of a bitch
JhasNeeh 7
YDI for dating someone who gets scared by Saw. Great movies but certainly not scary.
bellaamariee 0
I'm terrified of saw!
zyperman43 19
I find saw funny, the people that die deserve it so much sometimes it's hard not to laugh when they die.
hosamsr 3
how old is he ? 12?
Blueace530 0
I made a fml account just so I can say LMAO!!!!!! XD
LDP2 0
Congratulations! Now, please delete your account.
TheLetterZero 7
Welcome to the FML comments! OT: HAHAHAHAHAH! This was a good FML.
quin01 0
pussy tht movies not even scary