Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, a coyote turned up in the yard where my son and his friend were playing. It was aggressive and foaming at the mouth, so I called the boys inside, and shot it. Now my wife is scared of me and half the neighborhood wants me gone for "dangerous behavior." FML
Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
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Top comments
d4m4s74 12
Then go to his parents. and if they don't do something about it shoot them in the nuts and run away laughing
banman12321 6
What a nutcase...
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Comments (256)
pinkgreenblue 1
This kid is going to be a serial killer one day if he doesn't get some help. His parents probably aren't helping matters.
simoncat 11
Call the police and have him "arrested." It's assault. With that behavior, you've got a sadist. Serial killers are born of that type.
SerpentBoy 8
I shot birds and chipmunks in my youth.. Granted, now I would never kill anything I wasn't planning on eating.. when your young you do things you shouldn't.. parents can't see every move you make... as far as I know, I'm not running up and down the block killing my neighbours..
SerpentBoy 8
you're*
etchsanity1 11
May not be a sadist perhaps a sociopath ;)
FalconSam1414 19
My neighbor across the street does this... and he did it in front of my 9-year-old sister!!! :'(
j_cat187 20
That bastard. Seeing how violent retaliation is frowned upon, you should file a lawsuit and call social services in attempt to have this child put into either an orphanage or an institution.
SerpentBoy 8
Why a bb gun, someone get this kid an AR-15 before its too late..
GreenDancingBear 7
squirrels are vermin pests. you should be thanking him for his service. I shoot squirrels with my .22 pellet rifle often as I can.
squideth 18
We're all real impressed
laxerfromga23 4
Your a pussy let the kid have fun
pattayarick 8
Call the cops. Get him put away before he becomes a serial killer
TwoOneFive 11
People shoot at squirrels all the time. There pretty much like rats. Also, BB guns are weak, and don't hurt that much, this guy needs to grow a pair.
twinkiefeets 17
First sign of a serial killer.