Today, when I went over a bump, I was assaulted by a badly-fitted bicycle seat. I've been walking like John Wayne all afternoon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML
Today, I came down hard on the top bar of my bike, and crunched my balls. I felt sick almost immediately, and by the time I got home I was still nauseous, tender, uncomfortable, and very relieved to finally be able to rest with an ice pack. FML
Today, I came out from the E.R. with an arm cast and stitches on my head, all because a cyclist ran me over on a pedestrian walkway and got away. FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
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Top comments
RodzillaX 30
Did your bike at least kiss you first?
RichardPencil 32
That's nuts!
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Comments (10)
RichardPencil 32
That's nuts!
RodzillaX 30
Did your bike at least kiss you first?
tomvertigo 17
I just didn't realize John Wayne walked like that... #birdcagequotes
jcash52426 5
Well I guess you don't like anal then.
Cali 57
At least not on the receiving end...
RichardPencil 32
If he did, he wouldn't bother with a seat.
Cali 57
Get there and "get there". Kill two birds with one stone!
trucker2 33
Instead of telling them your bum hurts just tell them your thighs are chafed
species4872 20
For all you people who doesn't know who John Wayne was he was a mostly western film actor from the 1950's 60's
tomvertigo 17
Thank you, Mr. IMDB.