Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, a coyote turned up in the yard where my son and his friend were playing. It was aggressive and foaming at the mouth, so I called the boys inside, and shot it. Now my wife is scared of me and half the neighborhood wants me gone for "dangerous behavior." FML
Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
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Top comments
d4m4s74 12
Then go to his parents. and if they don't do something about it shoot them in the nuts and run away laughing
banman12321 6
What a nutcase...
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Comments (256)
GarageDragon 22
It probably all comes down to bad parenting. In which case it wouldn't matter if you went to the kid's parents, they wouldn't give a ****. Some people shouldn't have kids. Hope your nuts are alright, OP.
MandySkittles 18
Sue the kid for assault. He essentially just shot you with a gun in a very sensitive area of the body, have a doctor remove the BB and document it. Don't let the kid get away with it, likely his parents are guilty of letting his bad behavior slide and need to deal with it.
etchsanity1 11
Unless OP had the aforementioned sensitive part out the bob didn't likely penetrate the skin and have to be removed ... I've been shot a few time with high powered pellet guns and they don't typically make it through jeans, pants or other materials ... Though a hunting pellet might in this case it just sound really painful and likely bruised.
LarryLaDouche 13
Do you hear yourselves?? Sue a kid?!! What the **** people get your heads out of your oversensitive asses! Just go and talk to the parents I guarentee you they will address the issue.
roswelluga 4
mind your own business and you won't get hurt.
WolfAtTheDoor 7
If that kid is shooting at people like he did OP, that little twerp doesn't need to have a gun. He had no business shooting at squirrels, that's not an animal that is hunted. He was doing it to be mean to an animal and, to me, that's disturbing.
laden_swallow09 35
32- If and when I pass by when you're being mugged and beaten in your own car, I'm sure you'd love for me to mind my own business.
honeybadgerDG2S 2
Get an auto air-soft gun and just drive by shoot him with it every time you see him.
beanthemouse 13
I do not care what age this little shit was, kids should know in this day and age what is cruel, and what is mere playing. Its mostly the perants fault for not teaching the kid right to worng.
travtxson 5
Or ur parents fault for not teaching you how to spell parents.
TripleD_97 5
your*
HumanWiki 8
He just committed gun crime. I'd drag him and his parents through a lenghty and public lawsuit.
emmae331 3
Of course if you don't get your way just sue till you do... Pathetic it's a squirrel
jjmiller1001 17
just call 911 next time and report that there is someone walking around tour neighborhood with a gun
suri23 11
Police. Call & report.
kingmario75 5
I, being from the Deep South was always encouraged to go out hunting. In fact, if I see a squirrel I typically shoot it on sight. Just because you don't agree with him shooting animals doesn't make it wrong. Next time before you try and do the child's parents job, just remember that you don't have any power over him. Him shooting you was uncalled for, but wouldn't happen had you not tried to be all high and mighty in the first place.
chick92282 15
I'm from a pretty rural southern area myself, and my whole family hunts. I've eaten squirrel, and yeah, it's pretty tasty. Shooting animals is fine, but not if you do it just for the hell of it. In my family you don't shoot what you don't intend to eat. Also, one of the first rules any kid in my family is taught is NEVER to point a gun, any gun, at a person. Being a hunter does not give you carte blanche to start shooting random stuff, and someone disagreeing with you does not mean it's okay to shoot them, or otherwise hurt them. In other words, your comment is ridiculous and makes you sound like an ignorant, defensive, judgmental hick. Have a nice day though!
interesting33 37
I agree with 47 - if you are going to eat it - or if they need to be controlled then I guess maybe but not for fun :/
Jaevwyn 17
I saw "being from the Deep South" and had a pretty good guess where that was going...
etchsanity1 11
Under Obama gun laws you have a really good chance at having the kid put down.