Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, a coyote turned up in the yard where my son and his friend were playing. It was aggressive and foaming at the mouth, so I called the boys inside, and shot it. Now my wife is scared of me and half the neighborhood wants me gone for "dangerous behavior." FML
Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
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Top comments
d4m4s74 12
Then go to his parents. and if they don't do something about it shoot them in the nuts and run away laughing
banman12321 6
What a nutcase...
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Comments (256)
Crystal55621 19
I can understand your concern. I'm pretty sure I would feel the same way. But...not your kid, not your problem.
thundergodx 11
You didn't approach him with your bb rifle why ?
emmae331 3
A kid shoots a rodent with a BB gun and you think he's a delinquent in the making??? You totally deserve the shot to the nuts... What a fricken but case you are... It's a squirrel. I have shot many squirrels but that doesn't make me a criminal or an animal abuser.. I'm a vet tech and have never committed a crime. I'm sorry but you have fallen far from the rocker and so has everyone who agrees with you
baileymarie102 6
You're a vet tech, yet you're going to stand for animal abuse? MAKES PERFECT ******* SENSE.
BabyLovesBud 3
It's not animal abuse.
emmae331 3
Yes I'm a vet tech that deals with REAL animal abuse which you obviously never witnessed if you get this butt hurt about a squirrel aka pest
baileymarie102 6
A squirrel is an animal, the kid was shooting them for the fun of it. Shooting is abusing. Sounds like animal abuse to me.
baileymarie102 6
You must be a pretty shitty vet tech. Also, it's not "Butt hurt". It's called having a heart for something that has a life. Two things of which you clearly lack.
baileymarie102 6
You're a pest, I think that means I can shoot you.
emmae331 3
When you see dogs come in with their nose cut off from a real psychopath or a dog with the skin from their paw pads ripped from from being glued to the road or a cat with a broken tail from being swung around by it or emaciated and dehydrated animals from no food or water for weeks or an animal trying to survive covered in maggots with broken bones that was just thrown in the street or a dog with severe road rash from being drug behind a car you would realize what true animal abuse is... I'm sure these cases are far worse than your poor squirrel.
emmae331 3
There are far worse problems in this world that need to be dealt with than shooting squirrels and maybe someday when you grow up you will realize that but for now ill let your young naive mind keep thinking what it wants.
BabyLovesBud 3
216 - except for the fact that you don't know if he was doing it for fun. OP might be just some whack-job who thinks anything done to an animal is animal abuse. The kid could've been planning to use what he killed. So why don't you step down from your self righteous soapbox and try looking at it from a different angle.
UltimateGIRness 16
Nothin wrong with shootin squirrels if you got a reason. Heck, I shoot em for fun sometimes
sythe511 28
There is nothing wrong with shooting squirrels. I would almost encourage it, as they are considered a pest.
KiddNYC1O 22
Damn, wrong nuts.
WelcomeToAndale 13
People on this site are ridiculous - 'send him to juvenile hall!', 'he's a psychopath!' - seriously?! All he's doing is shooting a BB GUN at squirrels, people are acting like he's got an AK and is firing on anybody who walks by. Both the majority of commenters AND the OP need to chill out. 'Shocked and furious'... What a joke.
outoftown 27
The kid shot an adult. What part of that are you not clear on?
WelcomeToAndale 13
WITH A BB GUN! What part is everyone on this site not clear about? People are acting like be was practicing shooting stuff with a 9mm, then turned it on OP and shot him - it was a BB gun. Jesus, chill out.
reimichele 8
Sounds like Sid from Toy Story.
Cheedweed 12
City people....
drayloon 50
Someone has a problem with anything with nuts...