Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, a coyote turned up in the yard where my son and his friend were playing. It was aggressive and foaming at the mouth, so I called the boys inside, and shot it. Now my wife is scared of me and half the neighborhood wants me gone for "dangerous behavior." FML
Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
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Top comments
d4m4s74 12
Then go to his parents. and if they don't do something about it shoot them in the nuts and run away laughing
banman12321 6
What a nutcase...
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Comments (256)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Anyone defending OP or saying he or the commentors are making a big deal out of this, you should know that most serial killers start off by killing animals. That's a true fact. But that's not the reason for my comment. I despise anyone who harms animals in any way, shape, or form. If I had it my way, anyone who harmed an animal would be punished in the same manner, be it beating, left outside in a hot car, etc. Good for OP for telling that bratty kid off! Unfortunately, telling his parents probably wouldn't do any good; if they're stupid enough to let their kid have any kind of weapon and that's what he's doing with it, I doubt they'll care what OP has to say. Too many parents are stupid these days and it's making me physically ill.
Abenti 8
When humans are mauled to death by bears, trampled by sharks, or devoured by sharks, it's only a "tragedy" that cannot be helped. But when humans shoot BB guns at animals, it's suddenly an act of such injustice & depravity that he could be sent to hell.
Abenti 8
that they should be sent to hell*.
Kiyaralovestolol 14
Kids these days... smh.
hillbillyboy1993 7
kids these days? and how old are you???????? you need abt 30 years on you before you're aloud to say that
BabyLovesBud 3
Jesus, people, they are just squirrels. There's plenty of them. I used to shoot them all the time, along with rabbits and fixes. Now I hunt deer and bears. There's nothing wrong with hunting so long as you plan on using what you kill. Maybe that's what this kid was going to do. I can't even say how many times I would get a couple of squirrels or rabbits after school one day to make dinner. I know I get pissed when people tell me that hunting/shooting is cruel. It's not. It's the natural order of things. Don't forget human are still technically animals, evolved or not. The ones on the top of the food chain hunt the ones farther down. It's a part of life. Now as for this kid, maybe he was just hunting, maybe he was doing it for fun, we don't know because we don't have his side of the story. Obviously, he got mad when OP interrupted him, and OBVIOUSLY what he did was WRONG, but don't call him a delinquent for killing squirrels, do it because he shot a person. I'm tired of people criminalizing hunters.
BabyLovesBud 3
*foxes
Kawisonni1999 2
mmmmm squirrels, they are delicious! ;)
theboy13 13
I think a lawsuit is coming...or a call to the cops
BubbaJ80 11
Say something to the parents and if they just shrug you off then go to the police
The_Honey_Badger 17
I can't even begin to imagine how painful that must have been. FYL indeed.
Moe2311 2
Tell his parents and get them to punish him (maybe take the gun away and if you see him with another, threaten to call the police (also get him to do some services for you like mow the lawn or something to pay for damages)), but since he thought it would be okay to shoot you in the nuts he's probably got wimpy parents. If that is the case go to the police. Press charges for assault. But do it quick so you still have evidence. Problem solved.
rasemordnilap 3
All of you are ridiculous. I understand and agree that he committed assault and should be punished, and educated more about guns, but who gives a flying **** that he shooting squirrels? They're rats with wings. I still shoot squirrels in our timber an I'm 18. They're good target practice and .22 ammo is cheap. I don't see the big deal. But yeah, his dad needs to have a talk with him. And maybe a cop to scare him :P
kenjenkei 32
I think you're confused- mostly because you apparently think that squirrels have wings.
SheTheOtaku 21
BB guns don't kill squirrels immediately. That counts as torture, and it is not legal to hunt animals in just any place you decide, 'hey, let's kill somethin'!'
THswagPLAYA 1
hehe actually many forms of squirrel's have wings so my friend you are the one mistaken lol
nvo 6
Well, now you have two reasons to talk to his parents.