Today, a coyote turned up in the yard where my son and his friend were playing. It was aggressive and foaming at the mouth, so I called the boys inside, and shot it. Now my wife is scared of me and half the neighborhood wants me gone for "dangerous behavior." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying, "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML
Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML
Today, I was frantically woken up from a nap by my son who was scared because there was a dog in the house. We don't own a dog. It was the new neighbor's dog. When my son opened the door to go play outside, the dog came barreling in. My kid and cats were terrified. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML
Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
Today, I looked out the window just in time to see a coyote carrying off my cat that I had just let outside five minutes before. FML
Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
“Killing a rabid coyote to protect children is dangerous behavior that cannot be tolerated” is the worst take I’ve seen since “if you have sex with women and like it, you’re gay.”
Justkidding100 41
have it tested for rabies. show your wife 1 of the literally hundreds of documented videos of kids getting nailed by coyotes. explain that rabies has a 100% fatality rate. seriously debate about guns aside surely she knew you had a gun? and this is OBVIOUSLY the time to use it?
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Comments (6)
poopface82 25
“Killing a rabid coyote to protect children is dangerous behavior that cannot be tolerated” is the worst take I’ve seen since “if you have sex with women and like it, you’re gay.”
Justkidding100 41
have it tested for rabies. show your wife 1 of the literally hundreds of documented videos of kids getting nailed by coyotes. explain that rabies has a 100% fatality rate. seriously debate about guns aside surely she knew you had a gun? and this is OBVIOUSLY the time to use it?
sdj215 22
Don’t feel bad for doing what you needed to do to protect your children. We have coyotes and they run from people. If it wasn’t scared or running away, it far better to be safe than sorry. Sleep easy at night.
cpguru24 18
You did the right thing.
BrizBurry 10
if you're in city limits you are supposed to catch and call. or even just call. otherwise you look bad, wake up the neighbors and make the babies cry.
Rake 18
You wife is scared of you because you protected your child?!?! I would have thought you are a hero!!!