Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a customer's order when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted, "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I was at a party and saw this girl who used to be overweight. She'd lost a significant amount of weight and looked so good, I went to chat her up. She immediately told me to get lost. According to her, if I "didn’t appreciate her at her worst, I don’t deserve her at her best." FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
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Top comments
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Now she's definitely not going to eat your meat!
IceyJustin 1
Yeah real smooth.
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Comments (140)
piiing 0
shit, vegetarians can eat more than just salads... she was just being a bitch. f her and good for you for approaching her and giving her a compliment!
varkey 7
vegetarians only don't eat salads still, you're really stupid for saying that, most people don't eat salads to lose weight but eat them because they like salads... so YDI, moron
aims14 0
she's a bitch
disneydork96 0
its not the ops fault. vegetarians don't always eat salad. I'm a vegetarian and there are LOTS of options other than salad that don't include meat
Somedood117 0
am I the only one who didn't think he was a dick for doing that. someone here care to explain.
cfrost11 0
booooo:( terrible line hahahah.
mi_vida_loca69 4
That's why you ask her if she is vegetarian before xD
wysteria14 17
Well, simply eating a salad doesn't really indicate vegetarianism.
igoteffed 0
wow. people need to put on their reading glasses. he didn't say "oh look your eating a salad why are you because your are skinny." no he said why are you eating so scarcely and that she is BEAUTIFUL. he wasn't referring hardly to the fact she wasn't fat but to how little she was eating and how nice she looked. nice move OP.
sweetonsno 1
You do see how "you don't need to eat so little" could be taken to mean "I think you are deliberately choosing to eat little and am trying to reassure you that it isn't necessary," don't you? People generally don't offer reassurance to those they assume are confident.
AlexBuda 0
Being a vegetarian is a lifestyle, but not one that a majority of the population chooses so that girl was a bitch for expecting you to know that she was a vegetarian solely off what she was eating.
cattykins 0
that was a dumbass move.