Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a customer's order when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted, "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I was at a party and saw this girl who used to be overweight. She'd lost a significant amount of weight and looked so good, I went to chat her up. She immediately told me to get lost. According to her, if I "didn’t appreciate her at her worst, I don’t deserve her at her best." FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
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Top comments
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Now she's definitely not going to eat your meat!
IceyJustin 1
Yeah real smooth.
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Comments (140)
babiebuntin 7
im a vegetarian :)
geminiwings87 0
Did you salami slap her? And then tell her vegetables have feelings to? :)
xGraycloud 4
this wouldn't be a YDI if you hadn't put 'trying to be smooth'.
penisface69 17
idk why everyone thinks ydi. i think that was sweet of you. i wouldve liked it if i were her even if i was a vegetarian. vegetarians dont need to only eat salad. she should be happy you think shes beautiful.
angel2293 0
how is dis an fml ?
MoreLemonP1edge 3
hahahaha
Kua_Mei 0
YDI for being presumptuous. Just because she's eating a salad doesn't mean that it's all she's going to eat or that it's the only thing she eats. Just for future reference, making a comment about a woman's diet and weight as a pick-up line generally isn't considered to be "smooth."
Shinygirlnz 1
YDI. Not smooth, mind your own business about what and how much a lady eats.
RumKing 0
Maybe it was a Steak Salad and she ate the steak first.....think I am going to BBQ now.
marble180 0
ydi !!!!!!!