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FMyLife
Dammit Long Beach, United States

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

372

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Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

TheFamilyElf 17

I just... I'm so sorry. What tragedy! What misfortune! You poor, poor thing.

LuckyLynx7732 5

Thats all that it said on the suicide note, and nobody blamed him.

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Comments (372)

TheFamilyElf 17

I just... I'm so sorry. What tragedy! What misfortune! You poor, poor thing.

vanillacocoa 6

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Ohmigod that is truly suckarse :((

zachherbert 10

Saddest FML ever.. :(

soccergurrll 8

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

truth_spitta 0

I don't think life gets much worse...... Chocolate I could deal with but BACON? Hell no. I'm sorry FYL OP. I'll cry for you |':

dsbs 9

Op may god bless your soul

sirpantselot 22

OP, as a vegetarian Jew, you get no sympathy from me!

Dr0reos 8

At this point your only two options are turkey bacon*shudders in disgust* or suicide

Superstitious 6

*Hangs from rope*

asianswag 6

You could be the next Bad Luck Brian

baconstrips 12

I feel for you bro. That breaks my heart.

379_fml 11

158 your pic and username are so very mean to this guy now. But so very funny too

tjv3 10

Wow that really sucks bacon

Barr3lR0ll 9

I don't get people's love for bacon, it's gross; and no I'm not any form of -tarian, I love meat.

TheCaterpiller 6

252 - I think you need to see a doctor

nado13579 12

I can't even have bacon(I never could, except for once where I had to stop once I knew what it was I was having) and I'm more upset for you than myself. :( Here, it's okay. *hugs*

ryguy83 2

Let us all take a moment of silence

moneybagz131 6

Dashie!

bosquez559 15

I feel so bad for you....

bosquez559 15

To that vegetarian Jew, you are just gay

MrCatman1125 2

I don't think that it's possible to be allergic to bacon

xSunnyOlivia 17

338- he could be allergic to pork, which bacon comes from, obviously.

that_band_nerd 22

Poor child, if anyone is ever mean enough to try and give you bacon I volunteer as tribute to get rid of it!

xlord 27

*play scene from star wars episode 3 (Darth Vader) " nnnnoooooooooo9oooooooo"

DocBastard 40

I never realised there was a silent "9" in the word "no". I just learned something!

xlord 27

Either I accidentally pressed 9 or everyone you entire life has lied to you and there really is a silent 9 in noooo. But I guess we'll never find out :(

FMLshark 12

Then my teacher lied to me when she told me "nooo" has a silent 8.

MrBrightside21 20

I got "nooooooooo9ooo" right in my spelling bee, thanks guys and girls! But they stumped me with the word "friends." :(

NuTrees 9

--89-- Forever alone

Edwinadii 4

Im I the only one that thinks this is fake? I mean how can you just find out youre alergic to bacon?...if it was his first time eating it he must be really young xD I dont know im just bored

EverestMelting 23

I only liked number 3's comment because there was a nine xD

downtime 13

And by pure coincidence, the number you used is a phonetic match for the German 'no'...Conspiracy?

Ecstasyyy 3

I bet your soul hearts when you come across an epic meal time video. You poor human being, FYL :(

mango260 9

how can be allergic to bacon!!!! :O omg, so does that mean you can't eat delicious baby back ribs too!!!!

JKr3slEMO 5

I'm hungry..gotta go get me some bacon;P

HeartOfLead 24

Bt I guess your mom won't be bacon' you the good stuff for breakfast anymore.

baylor18 6

Hurt

zoPwNAgEzo 21

What about Canadian bacon? Loophole

jtthegr8 26

That's not really bacon though...your loophole failed

Senseless_487 29

I'm assuming being allergic to bacon is more of an allergy to pork products, ham included.

melikeyturtles 3

Turkey bacon sucks. You cant make a bird taste like a pig.

aleeshttylXD 9

if OP can't eat bacon, then she can't eat any pork product..

benimin 6

15- at least it's real

equius4life 8

Turkey Bacon isn't that bad... but that's coming from someone who hates most meats so... nyeh

TraceCase_ 19

Could be because it's processed and loaded with sodium nitrites/nitrates, which would make even turkey bacon out of the question. That stuff triggers migraines in some people.

StanSmith_fml 9

15 - have you tried Canadian bacon? American bacon is all fat no flavor. I've had both and prefer to have Canadian every single time.

TheVelocirabbit 10

And that's why I love American Bacon. Mmm... Bacon.

xCrazyMexican 4

152- WTF? Your Stan Smith you can't dis America you dick.

simplylost643 0

#181- Exactly what I was thinking. Stansmith, get your shit together!

Thursday737 7

nah merikan bacon sucks

leadawg75 12

Maybe it's the way thy smoke and cure the bacon...but He probably is just allergic to pork...!

idontcare23 5

Canadian bacon is just ham so that's not a good loophole. Turkey bacon maybe??

J3G 7

241- No shit he wrote he was allergic to bacon, but in all fairness Canadian bacon is not bacon it is a lie... just like the cake...

UltraRice 0

What are you smoking, man? I'm Canadian and I prefer *real* bacon over Canadian "bacon".

andrew9623 9

You know what's funny? I'm canadian and have never had " canadian" bacon. I hadn't even heard of the stuff until about age 8.

heroqucas 25

Nitrates give me terrible migraines, so I know the pain

Stiggy626 25

probably still allergic since they're both pork...

LuckyLynx7732 5

Thats all that it said on the suicide note, and nobody blamed him.

perdix 31

I was going to say don't called the Suicide Hotline with this one because they'd tell you to go ahead and do it, but you captured the same idea.

MrBrightside21 20

The only person that can save him now is Jim Gaffigan.

SqueakyChipmunk 22

Things I'd write a suicide note for if I couldn't have it: Bacon Chocolate Boobies Cartoons Animals MLP: FIM Tacos Music and...... ****.

kelsey_M_Jones 5

Well, 134, don't you just have a fantastic life! Hahaha

KobeLebroJordan 17

Bacons overrated...

HonestTruth 5

Muslims don't eat bacon!

childproofpizza 19

I feel bad for Muslims.

dixiefoxx 22

I feel so bad for you, what a terrible twist of fate! Bacon is the best food in the world!

ygdrassil 17

I know, what monster would press YDI? Nobody deserves THAT!

therealslim 15

OP should just end it all by overdosing on bacon. At least it would be a good final few hours

MotherHen88 4

Oh dear God... I feel so bad for you

everydayFML2121 5

His life is officially over

HonestTruth 5

I have never had bacon!:)

KM96 24

Is that a good thing or bad thing? :/

zachherbert 10

It's the HonestTruth.

The_F3rris 11

People disagree with your choice to not eat bacon.... You need to become one of us! Oooooooone oooooof uuuuuuuuuussssssssssssss!

JustDerpin 11

how is that a good thing? honey, pleade, try some. you wont regret it.

JustDerpin 11

*please, shit.

Jiinxx 8

I don't eat bacon cause my religion is against it, but when a friend offered it to me I was like "YOLO" and tried it. ... Point of the story, I don't feel like I missed out on much. It sucked.

GNR93 14

131- I thumb you down for using YOLO in any scenario. If I could twice I would again for you disrespecting bacon.

zolziski 11

GNR93, you could log out and thumb their comment down a second time. I'd say it's worth the extra effort.

HonestTruth 5

-47 Yikes. Well the reason I do not eat bacon is because my Religion forbids it.

GNR93 14

Zolziski,I didn't think I could do that, thank you it was well worth the effort. HonestTruth, i may not be religious but I do respect your beliefs, more importantly I give you credit for resisting the allure of bacon all these years.

greenie213 23

You have not lived.

A7XCamaro 19

It's ok, bacon isn't really that good.

AnagenisisZagus 13

Un..ungodly...

JKr3slEMO 5

fYl

xXSmilezXX 7

People like you shouldn't breed...

ebdeadaccount 11

The hell's wrong with you?!

ebdeadaccount 11

Woops, you made a typo over there- *:(

EvilTwerp 12

STFU and GTFO.

deransc 19

Thumbs down x2. 1 for using "YOLO", and 2 for saying bacon sucked.

asmb100 27

Go get some. Now. I'm not kidding, go get some bacon now. I'll wait.

KogMaw 6

O_O impossible! It must be impossible! Life cannot be so cruel as to do that to you! My thoughts go out to you in this hard time :(