Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a customer's order when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted, "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I was at a party and saw this girl who used to be overweight. She'd lost a significant amount of weight and looked so good, I went to chat her up. She immediately told me to get lost. According to her, if I "didn’t appreciate her at her worst, I don’t deserve her at her best." FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
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Top comments
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Now she's definitely not going to eat your meat!
IceyJustin 1
Yeah real smooth.
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Comments (140)
k9obsessed 5
Aw, ignore that bitch, OP. If she couldn't see that your only intention was to compliment her, she's not worth your time or concern.
daaahahaha 4
Hahaha i dunno why you got so many 'you deserve it's ! iiiiiii think you were smooth :) and even if i was a vegetarian id be flattered! She sounds like a stupid uptight stuck up beeeetch that doesnt know how to take a compliment! Probably cause she spends her life only eating rabbit food pahahaha... but still even vegetarians eat other stuff than just salads .. she sounds stupid
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh, because accusing someone of having an eating disorder on the basis of their having a salad for a meal is *SUCH* a nice compliment. Lickin' windows like yeahhh. Herpin' mah durpz like yeahhh.
ideasrule 13
When did anyone accuse her of an eating disorder? Saying that she doesn't need to "eat so scarcely" is not the same as saying she has an eating disorder.
nickflackafury 0
well in your defense she seems kind of snobby. it, after all, was a compliment. girls don't know how to react to nice things.
stewpididiot 11
WTF ?? where do my comments go ?? I said..." you should have slapped her upside the head with a Bacon Double Cheeseburger and yelled " Bitch !! My food ***** on your food !!! "
Coldinside 12
She sound like a bitch, FYL OP,
aspnet_rules 0
LOL that's what you get for "trying to be smooth" just to have sex with her. YDI! I laugh when boys like you write FMLs like these xd it makes my day.
aspnet_rules 0
Haha vegetarians are screwed up in the head anyway xd.
abasio 1
Not exactly the smoothest move ever. Still it was an extremely bitchy response from the woman. If people compliment you when you don't really want them to, just take it cordially and try to shake them off. Don't be such an uber bitch!
ulicksam 0
YDI for making comments about a stranger's eating habits instead of minding your own business. Who the hell does that? Besides you.
darksidehascooki_fml 0
ha ha ur an idiot