Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NATFLUMP 0
OMFG MAN WHY WOULD YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH OPEN ! dude, you fcking stuuuuuuupid.
prettybadfuckup 0
GROSSNESS
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (132)
Luckster 0
I wish people would look up the definition of Karma before using it in an FML!!
sugar_407 0
1. don't say "karma much" 2. why would you smash the roach? Even if it didn't fall, you would have had a blob to clean off the ceiling. 3. close your mouth, idiot. 4. YDI !
01100110 0
That's not karma
VoGuE221 5
...dude why was your mouth open?
frightful316 0
LOL. OMB that's freaking funny.
drano 0
the fml said smack, not smash
goshers 1
OH **** THAT SUCKS
moopsy234 0
yummy yummy in my tummy!!! taste like week old tuna... mmmmmm *five hours later* peuk gag "OH NO!!! it's crawling up my throat!!!!" lol but YDI dood
Zikato 0
Gravity much?
misstragedy 0
"Karma much?" ruins it. :|