Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
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Top comments
NATFLUMP 0
OMFG MAN WHY WOULD YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH OPEN ! dude, you fcking stuuuuuuupid.
prettybadfuckup 0
GROSSNESS
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Comments (132)
erraton 0
karma munch.. yum
godyourethick 0
The **** were you doing, hitting cockroaches with your gob wide open, directly underneath them?
LeahC_fml 4
Ew that's ******* sick.
dinoliz 0
Did you swallow??
Woah_Its_Bree 0
am i the only one in the world who wants to puke at - not the thought of you having a roach in your mouth, but at you for being so cool with even having the in your house that you can hop on your comp. and tell us fmy fans all about it?? You- should get off your ass. but get off this site first lol. Start a ban- for nasty hics??? im from N.E. lots of people throughout here will have bug issues to.., some because they are just unlucky, and they fix it. But most, are dirty, disgusting homes, that have no excuse to look the way the do. Consider your home, a hazard envoirement. I mean, your obv. a shitty exterminater, maybe bring in some prefessionals. From the sounds of it, you just sound like someone down in the dirty south, who, well, prob didnt just get unlucky because of natural circumstances-which dont apply to this- But more of a, i'd never go near you, go clean your house, && live life a little better. && for people who are talking about karma and stuff- heres my take For someone who - not has bugs in their home, thats just a tiny detail in one aspect of another humans life- but aside from that, if this person who posted this is telling the truth - prob living in a trailer someplace, im sure, your in those shoes, well. by simply putting it, -Because you deserved exactaly what your getting out of life, for some reason or another. just please. make sure to never cometo .N.E k? Cause your typical to us assholes up here =p
lifeislife_fml 0
Your post made no ******* sense at all. And - what's, up - with, the - incorrectly used, dashes and commas everywhere? I'm not even a grammar nazi, but that was atrocious, especially since it seemed like you were trying to write intelligently but failed horribly. If you're going to insult someone, first make sure you don't sound like an idiot.
Woah_Its_Bree 0
well, i must say # 94 that your post made me look over what i had written. gotta agree man. i suckkk at trying to make a point =p lets hear what you got though... must be way beter than what i got smarty
Woah_Its_Bree 0
And - i'll admit that im an idiot for not looking over what i wrote- half of those, are mistakes lol ooooops.
i_stay_anonymous 0
And THAT is why I don't kill bugs, I tell other's to do it for me, because I know there's a chance of it falling on me.
i_stay_anonymous 0
I also think this is fake now... Since your name is... Obviously... Cockroach.
antherletdwn 0
common sence? dont stand under the thing your killing.