Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
I'm curious to know what caused this realization. Did he catch you cleaning it up, run in to stop you, and yell, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's my SEMEN. Show a little respect!"
SystemofaBlink41 27
Thanks for the gag, OP.
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Comments (72)
lexred 30
Well...tell your brother to squeeze his "toothpaste tube" somewhere other than the sink.
ColCyclone 17
nonsense! the sink is the perfect disposal method
kmw003 17
I really need a follow up for this, how did you find that out? Anyways, FYL for sure, that's so gross.
guii_fml 24
I would cut my hands off immediately
anbanan 9
if you cut the first hand off how would you cut off the second ?
91hayek 31
Is he collecting it then disposes of it in the sink? Is he standing at the sink and doing it? If so how tall is he? Does he get off to his own reflection over the sink? So many questions.
Saub 19
asking the important questions
MariaGiovanni 25
I actually asked myself all of these questions too hahaha
Omfgitsmia 15
I read your questions while looking at your picture lol
Alexandria79 22
uh huh...gross...you need blue toothpaste. you'll never make that mistake again
igg125 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You choose to clean it up.
CuriosityTheCat 9
OP chose to clean up toothpaste, not semen.
FitFriday 32
I would wash my hands with bleach and hydrogen peroxide
elcee1987 18
I would BATHE in bleach after that.
team_hale 11
Who does "it" into a sink
pjsr 33
Millions of teenage boys. Most rinse it down.
Dean__Winchester 16
The moment I saw "toothpaste" I was all, "Oh gross...they brushed their teeth with something ******* gross" and honestly, thank god that wasn't the case because that'd be highly disturbing.
cheshireau 26
How can you confuse the two? They definitely don't have the same consistency.
zeffra13 31
He's talking about after it's a dry crust on the sink. If people don't thoroughly rinse the sink after spitting out the toothpaste it builds up a layer. My sink has low water pressure so I usually have to scrub it.
doodlecloud 27
No, he's talking about when it's down the drain...so wet and slimy. Not dried on top of the sink.