Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
I'm curious to know what caused this realization. Did he catch you cleaning it up, run in to stop you, and yell, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's my SEMEN. Show a little respect!"
SystemofaBlink41 27
Thanks for the gag, OP.
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Comments (72)
birthdayforgot 14
Buy him a box of tissues that will solve the problem lol.
amsterdamgirl 20
eeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!
MystoganFT 18
"oh that's nasty."
unixdude 9
What kind of toothpaste has the same consistency and smell of prostate juice??
symboic 13
My question is how does he get it in the sink?!?
the_real_alpha 5
That is so gross.... like gross to the power 10000000 0_o
kemando 22
... the sink? why the... but the toilet's RIGHT THERE...
pjsr 33
The sink has a mirror - guys are very visual.
bassfisher100 23
dear god...
novdestiny 23
ewwwwww!
cole66 14
OP here, I see some questions that I feel should be answered. The reason I was cleaning the sink was because the water was getting stopped around the edge of the drain, it gets stopped up a lot so I didn't think much of it. I never noticed what it was because anything that has been on a sink drain that long will feel nasty or be hard, but its simple to clean so I never cared. How it got there? I have no idea. Any other questions? feel free to ask.
Setareh23 34
How did you find out about it in the end? Did your bro confess or something?
pjsr 33
Thanks so much for the followup, OP, but everyone wants to know how you found out it was manpaste instead of toothpaste. ...And what did you say or do to prevent future 'clogs'?
cole66 14
I found out what it was when I found some..fresh.. man juice in the sink. and I didn't say anything cause I didn't want to have that conversation because it would be awkward for me, and very embarrassing for him, as he is at the age you just start to learn to "enjoy yourself" and I don't want to make him not want to do it anymore, as that's what I would do if I were him in that situation. (Hope this helps)
pjsr 33
haha, this really was a great FML. While it's gross, it's not the worst thing in the world - you seem to have a good attitude toward him. He probably looks up to you a lot. You'd help him out by talking to him privately and saying, 'Hey, I just wanted you to know I started jacking off about your age and it's totally normal for all boys to enjoy it. I still do it a lot, but instead of doing it into the sink where we brush our teeth, you might want to try doing it in the shower, or in bed and just wipe it up with some tissues. If you ever have any questions about sexual stuff, you can ask me. Ok?' This way you'd make him less likely to feel ashamed, while still teaching him to clean up after himself. Awkward? Probably a little, but once you've talked about that, he will feel comfortable to come to you for anything