Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
I'm curious to know what caused this realization. Did he catch you cleaning it up, run in to stop you, and yell, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's my SEMEN. Show a little respect!"
SystemofaBlink41 27
Thanks for the gag, OP.
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Comments (72)
SystemofaBlink41 27
Thanks for the gag, OP.
helptheorphans 17
I literally was about to eat then I read this fml.....
halcyon93 16
Why is he jacking off in the sink? That's pretty disgusting...
18drakerad 18
He's probably washing it off of his hands. Not everyone uses a tissue.
klawzor 17
Don't see why your comment is down voted. It's true as far as I know.
gosh_mate 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ehhhh I feel for you OP... Someone needs to learn better hygiene practices!
doodlecloud 27
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Someone like OP? Even if it was only toothpaste, clearing used toothpaste (that's been in people's months and probably has food in it) out of the drain with your hands is pretty gross too. This is just nasty either way.
ImZakki 15
She's talking about the brother
doodlecloud 27
Yes, 64...but I'm pointing out that OP hasn't exactly been a hygiene king himself.
IceCreamMage 17
You're right #68, it's not like OP can wash his hands immediately after doing so. He's not at a sink or anything where soap is usually kept. How disgusting can OP get? /endsarcasm
Jowisee 29
I want to know how you found that out?? Or maybe not...
MaiqTheLiar 11
well semen has a .. spacial ... odor. ..
lexred 30
SPACIAL ODOR. That must be the lost Egyptian script.
GeorgeCarter95 16
I'm pretty sure that's a picture from skyrim not Egyptian
Tripartita 45
I'm curious to know what caused this realization. Did he catch you cleaning it up, run in to stop you, and yell, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's my SEMEN. Show a little respect!"
pjsr 33
Lol #5 ...or maybe he walked in to see his brother squeezing the last drops out of his 'tube'? So many possibilities.
derangedplanet 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
the real question is why didn't he notice originally.... but I could see it being something like hearing his brother grunting or something and then finding it in the sink just after.
skobisco 23
Is your toothpaste really toothpaste though?
lat187 18
Eff everyone's lives... You're brother is extremely disturbed
lat187 18
I actually read this as your brother was filling a tube of toothpaste with his own semen. Still gross....
cheeeksss 29
Way to make me cringe even harder from when I first read the FML ;___;
Mathalamus 25
Great, now I don't feel good at all. Thanks. :(
cole66 14
I'm glad the first way you read it was wrong..
sstahpp 33
You guys. I won't ever be able to look at toothpaste the same way again.
mads_nicole 19
Oh my...words escape me but gagging sure doesn't
Scorpio01 16
Your brother be like, don't touch my dead babies....
Xion0014 20
EW