Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tripartita 45
I'm curious to know what caused this realization. Did he catch you cleaning it up, run in to stop you, and yell, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's my SEMEN. Show a little respect!"
SystemofaBlink41 27
Thanks for the gag, OP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (72)
pjsr 33
Time for some brotherly advice. Teach him to do it in the bed ...and wipe up his own mess.
user53658 15
Come on, people, getting a little semen on your hands is not the end of the world. You know, every day people get it in their mouths and some of them even swallow it, all on one's own choice.
Setareh23 34
That's the thing though...they choose to do it. OP did not. That's like telling someone who's found out the waiter jacked off into their food, that it doesn't matter since lots of other people in the world choose to swallow willingly. Obviously getting it on your hands isn't as bad, but the essential point is still there: having it happen without your choice, while (as you said) is not the end of the world, it is just plain disgusting and unpleasant.
BadKitty13 28
That's pretty nasty.
missyfiona89 28
I'm curious about how you found out.
andrmac 25
I'm sorry but you are a male you should easily know the difference between semen and toothpaste, so you deserve it!
8313girl 28
OP has lady parts.
extremereviews 26
How did you discover this? How old is he?
quesocoatl 14
why are you cleaning the sink with your bare hands!????
steam_engenius 21
Wow. What a slob!
janfleury 19
That's gross and I'm sorry OP. You should have made him clean up his own messes to start with.
ThePatriot0429 6
K