Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
I'm curious to know what caused this realization. Did he catch you cleaning it up, run in to stop you, and yell, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's my SEMEN. Show a little respect!"
SystemofaBlink41 27
Thanks for the gag, OP.
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Comments (72)
Fas4wd 13
I'm lost for words. The only one that comes to mind is NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
bresha 8
Oh shit that's alll bad
Badkarma4u 17
Are yousure its semen, and not spit. Some people clear their throat and spit in the sink in the leaving huge wads of phlegm in the sink in the morning. Totally Disgusting! One of the many fun things the army teaches you.
loubabe69 19
This kid needs a talking too.
esther23_fml 11
I was eating while reading this. Yuk.
drc2010 13
How in the hell did you not know the difference between the too... I've never thought toothpaste looked like cum.
skylerthecloud 12
but.... little brother? when i think little I think of a kid..... ew.
tinyalmeida 11
That is disgusting, and makes me very happy I don't have a brother. I feel very bad for you OP. FYL
ossiozac 11
That's a sticky situation
urbanbigfoot 20
I am truly sorry but this is hilarious!