Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML
Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML
Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
swagisforchumps 9
Um... how did you learn that?
heinous966 15
Your fathers windshield must be quite dirty.
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Comments (144)
heinous966 15
Your fathers windshield must be quite dirty.
sheethapins 13
Edited post. Oopsie poopsie. Ignor this, carry on.
sheethapins 13
*ignore
gc327072 31
1- your pic is probably what the dad said to the mom.
pedosmurf 7
Groovy
Tay_racer10 3
Even in the winter OP??
chellyX92 8
There are still birds in the winter...
MormonPornstar 7
Haha! Dude, come on.... in the winter? :) Get real.
christyxbee 15
And suddenly, I'm not in the mood for my pizza anymore...*drops plate*
Soniye 14
Your childhood ..bird.. is all a lie now...
swagisforchumps 9
Um... how did you learn that?
winnerme123 8
Caw-kaaawwwwww
dinorider_fml 4
A little birdy told OP
Jjgibbs 5
OP- *Cums
Trix_Disorder 20
76 - That's how horny teenagers and bad writers spell it. It looks pretty dumb IMO.
DerrickJames 33
76 - Comes is correct.
pradip 26
Thanks for that, I didn't get't till later
kewlone645 8
That's awkward. Sorry you had to learn that.
jojimugo 20
And now the nightmare begins. Sorry OP
Bullpine 11
That's disturbing. How could one's ****** even sound like a bird in the first place?
MrSassypants 34
Do you really want to know the science behind it? I don't think any of us do.
RedPillSucks 33
****'a doodle did?
rhidiculous 4
OP's dad had her all atwitter
Dixbfloppin 11
You seem to have never watched Impractical Jokers.
decidedlyvague 11
Mmmhhhmmm... Ohhh....OHHHH.... CAWCAWCAWCAWCAWCAW...... That's how.
GhostDuck 30
Oh he ****-a-doodle dooed alright. O.o
interesting33 37
Some people do - they make very high-pitched noises. When I first heard my flatmate at it (first time I had ever heard sex) I kept looking outside to try and find the wounded fox or animal that was making a very high pitched moans...
OvertonHippie 16
I don't know, but my roommate's girlfriend sounds like a puppy.
buck33 14
Rockin' Robin.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Tweet Tweet Tweet ;)
ravemasterroxas 9
Oh rockin' robins gonna really rock the house tonight!
Kiki242 19
My condolences for your mental well being.
FMLshark 12
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around an ****** that sounds like a bird... My imagination is definitely going places.
muppetslover 11
Maybe she whistles while he works;)
Picklejar399 2
****-a-doodle-doo!
twokool38 1
Any-****-Will-Do?
Welshite 40
I had something similar happen to me, but then I killed the cricket. I do not suggest you do the same to your mother.
DCarrasco526 4
There was a cricket that constantly orgasmed around you?!
swaroop2615 5
LOL #114