Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML
Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML
Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
swagisforchumps 9
Um... how did you learn that?
heinous966 15
Your fathers windshield must be quite dirty.
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Comments (144)
zango1 15
I can see it would be a bit awkward but it's not really an FML or a YDI. So your parents like to make the mythical beast with two backs. Lucky really or you wouldn't be here to complain about it.
nerdsgetmehot 23
That is definitely pretty disturbing. I'm guessing you walked on in your parents doing the deed?
buckdharma 38
please help clarify. was it a tweet or a chirp or more a gobble gobble ?
LexieWins 0
Gobble gobble!! Bahaha thanks for the laugh :)
laden_swallow09 35
She'll be squawking like a birdie when she co-o-o-omes. She'll be squawking like a birdie when she co-o-o-omes…
angel55033 12
How long does she cum for? During the night sounds like a long ******
Sanrio90 8
It's ok, looking back I realized that when my parents turned the TV volume up real high and let me watch Cartoon Network while they went to do some "very important paperwork", it was just them doing the nasty. I never had a clue though and I was just happy that I could watch PowerPuff Girls without my dad turning the channel.
sarah17xx_fml 10
Childhood ruined.
Fellsnows 5
Cums*
nanalauren 3
HAWKWARD
09Z_fml 4
ah.. that is horrible. haha